Curtain Call

Chapter Six

sunday november 2
hey del,
so the rest of the story.

we go into the party and there are tons of drunk teenagers everywhere.... and there is booming loud music.... and lots of people twerking. i honestly didn't know people were capable of wearing the costumes they were. i saw this one girl in basically a bra and underwear, and as we walked by her, i heard her say "yeah I'm a french maid. you wanna french kiss?" ughblehghughglehbl. gross. but..... good pickup line for when I'm older.

so we get into this smaller less crowded room where harry's brother offers us soda. so i take some, but then i think it was spiked or something because i felt a little dizzy after i drank it. so i stopped drinking it. i still felt warm and fuzzy though.

so harry's brother's friends asks us if we want to play spin the bottle. and I'm like sure. so everyone sits down in a circle and someone spins a beer bottle. and the guy that spins it lands on is girlfriend. there was no way to describe this nicely... they shamelessly make out in the middle of the circle. when a shirt comes off, harry's brother has to take them out of the room. this has scarred me. not ready for that.

harry's brother comes back in and makes a rule that you have to kiss in a closet... so the game doesn't get R rated. so some other girl spins and the game goes on. and i kinda zone out cuz I'm bored... ya know cuz I'm not that into making out, or waiting for people to finish making out. i glance up and the bottle is pointing to me. and i realize you spun it. so i start freaking out.

we step into the closet and i ask you if you are ready. and you look so fucking scared i was actually kinda offended. i mean come on, kissing me can't be that bad. so i tell you it'll be practice for the play. and then you are like "but we don't kiss in the play". and so I'm like "... oh well lets get this over with" but I'm internally freaking out. I'm kissing my best friend. I'm kissing my best friend. and this closet is dark. so i ask "are you ready?" and you whisper "i guess". HONESTLY you were so damn scared. so i take your hand and pull you down on the floor so we are sitting next to each other. you grab onto my hand and squeeze really tightly. and then we both lean in and press lips.
no words. actually. LOTS AND LOTS OF WORDS!! IT WAS A FUCKING EXPLOSION!! tingles exploded out of my lips and went everywhere and my heart i swear it stopped beating for a second. her lips tasted like her favorite strawberry chapstick. and i was so scared. i liked it. i liked kissing my best friend. and she pulled away a few seconds later. and her breath hitched. just a little bit. and tingles were sent all over again. and then the lights turned on. and she looked so pretty. her dirty blonde hair was all curly because she curled it and her eyes were so big and brown and beautiful. and i realized right then that very second i had a crush on my best friend.

i was a fucking lesbian. and i hated it.

jade

ps i don't think i would have been able to kiss you if my drink hadn't been spiked

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Dear Jade,

So the continuation of what I started yesterday.

When we got to the party, my sister right away left us to make out with the nearest boy. Kinda disgusted right away, we walked farther in. I perfected watching my sister in underwear making out with a random boy than seeing the dances in the next rooms.

I guess my sister wasn't the only on that got the "slutty" info. Almost all the girls were wearing their underwear with some type of ears, tail, or skirt. They all gave us looks in our twin kitty costumes.

We finally made it back to a quieter room. People were more chill and talking while drinking from red solo cups. I spotted Harry's brother and lead us over to him. He said he hadn't seen Harry but offered us a drink. Not being rude I accepted and it didn't seem like he would leave until we drank it. Taking a sip, I suddenly felt out of it and dizzy. From the looks of you, you seemed the same way.

After talking a while and trying to find Harry, we got invited to play "Spin The Bottle". The rules were simple and we all sat in a circle. We were opposite of each other and we kept laughing at this. The first guy span and it landed on his girlfriend. I guess they drank some of the spiked drinks too because they totally started making out and stripping each other. Harry's brother and his friend lifted the drunk couple upstairs to do whatever they want up there. A new rule was set up to kiss in the closet.

A couple more pairs were sent upstairs in different bedrooms, bathrooms, closets, or wherever there was space. As the circle was getting smaller and it was getting closer to my turn my heart was beating fast. Many couples were girl and girl and I was scared of kissing one of the girls in the circle. I could tell you were blanked out because you stared into space.

Finally it was my turn. Taking a deep breath, I took hold of the green beer bottle and spun. I closed my eyes and crossed my fingers. Maybe it would even land in an empty spot and I didn't have to kiss anyone?!?!? (Even though that wasn't part of the game I was still hopeful). I heard loud "OHS" from the people playing and opened my eyes. I followed wear the bottles tip was pointing. I saw the hands of someone I have known all my life. And suddenly they weren't welcoming.

I walked over quickly, took those unwelcoming hands, and went to the closet. Okay I'm not going to lie, I was nervous. I was nervous of what would happen when I touched those lips. That maybe I would see things differently. You pulled me down so we were sitting next to each other. We were just sitting there in my boyfriend's closet staring at each other about to kiss. I memorized every detail of your face. Your fading freckles and the crinkles around eyes. Then it happened.

I don't know how or when or why but we did kiss and I did see things differently. Instead of a dark closet, I saw fireworks dancing everywhere. I thought I was going to throw up from the butterflies in my stomach. I wanted to keep kissing you. To stay there and just be in this moment forever. With you my best friend. Who I was kissing?!?!? This snapped me back. I shouldn't have. I didn't want it to end. I could see the worry in your hazel eyes. See the flecks of gold in them I always adored. I could see the beauty in your brown hair and how perfectly it fell. I could fell my love for your expanding.

But I couldn't like my best friend.

I couldn't be a lesbian.

Could I?

Del