A Kidnapper's Dream (Unedited)

-Chapter 19 (Luca's POV): Blinded By Love-

@copyright all rights reserved 2013

-Written By: LovableMonster-



-Chapter 19: Blinded By Love-

(Or should it be: Pushing Boundaries?)



(Luca's POV)



I did what little Jessalyn asked of me, when the sun rose and her eyes opened I was indeed there. I never really sleep that much, I have too much going on inside my mind to even want to feel the urge of sleep. Especially when I always have that nagging little voice inside my head asking me why Jessalyn is with me in bed, why is she running away from the police, why is she in love with me?

Jessalyn notified that she was hungry this morning so now I'm making my way to the grocer with spectacles I managed to rummage as well, but didn't let Jesaslyn see. That plan was vanquished when Jessalyn insisted she'd go with me to the market or she'd turn herself in. I couldn't argue with her on that because that's the last thing I'd want her to do, ever. I don't want her getting those type of ideas either.

Jessalyn's beside me, with an arm wrapped around one of mine, like we're a real couple or something. She's dressed in a long yellow dress with a white bodice and frill designs for the sleeves and edges. Her short hair is laying down by her ears and curl upward; she's so beautiful.

Of course, since Jessalyn had to tag along Annabella did to. We didn't want her causing another scene with the police and running off to them, or letting the house burn down while we are gone. I don't trust that little girl, she acts like she's dumb and pathetic, but she's not. That child will never love me, she despises even the thought of me. I know she did all of this because of me and maybe it has something to do with Ms. Gringale. I hate the thought, especially since Jessalyn asked me if we were engaged last night.

The question shocked me to a point where I couldn't really give her much of answer to satisfy her. The good thing was that she ended up falling asleep shortly afterward. I didn't want to have to answer the probable question she'd ask next.

Were you ever engaged?

Because, the answer is: no. I've never been engaged and it sickens me and pains me to know that if there's only one girl out there who loves me, who is Jessalyn, then I have no choice but to do the things I've done to her and might possibly do.

We walk casually down the sidewalks of Paris and pass by a few women out with their dogs and drunken men hitting on them as they pass by. One even knocks himself out and lands a spot in a dump. I watch them with curiosity. I've always been fascinated by the human race's stupidity, also considering the fact that I might not even be human, even though they don't like me. Well, most of them anyways.

Jessalyn doesn't say much, she seems too wrapped up in the little shops full of cakes and pies and jewels. Maybe I'll surprise her, but I don't have much money, considering we had to leave so abruptly. I shoot a dirty look at Annabella, one she doesn't notice thankfully.

Oh, how could a child so ignorant and mischievous belong to such a sweet angel? Such an angelic beauty of a woman? It must be Sally's influence set upon her from over the years.

The thought still stings when I think about Jessalyn as a child; having a child herself. I wasn't around a lot when she was younger to watch over her, because that was a time before my sister died. I didn't know Jessalyn was pregnant with a rapist's baby, especially Felix's. Now, that I think of his name it makes me want to spit at the ground or burn something.

He met me one day when Ms. Gringale was selling paint and demanded he know the true artist who painted it. A few gasps from my appearance received from him, a few drinks, and I'd come to love the man. Now, he's dead, by my own hand and a piece of shitty wood. It feels bitter sweet, but the sweet part over powers it I'm afraid.

Annabella follows us slowly behind, gazing into shop windows and practically drools at the sight of them. Jessalyn shouts for her to keep up, oh how this woman must learn to treat her child better. She must not fall for her silly games.

We turn a corner and are finally greeted by a little shop. The smell of trash is guarded heavily on it, the sunless sky rains on us, this is not a good day. We enter the shop labeled with a sign that has no words, but instead a basket full of vegetables. Way to be subtle.

The door rings while we walk in, by some sort of bell, what a silly idea! Who would put a bell on a door to alert our presence? I'd hate to be a thief in the middle of the night and have to deal with that mechanism. Jessalyn laughs at my fury and I know I'm probably acting silly as well.

Annabella runs off into the store and starts poking her nose around the baked breads section and the lovely decorated pastries. I will make sure Jessalyn doesn't get her one, it's better for the both of them, to learn a little tough love. I pick up a basket to place the food in and start collecting things as we walk down the sections. The store isn't huge, but it's good enough. We're not yet greeted by a worker, so maybe it is a good day. Hopefully I didn't just send a mental message for one to now come and greet us cheerfully.

---------

After paying for the food we slowly make our return to the cottage. I will go out later again for a few things to fix it up, but I don't want to be near that child any longer than I have to. I actually thought I was warming up to her, sadly in her case, not anymore. The sun is actually peeking out from behind a few clouds now but it's still cold. Fall is almost over for this year, I must take precautions for us. I need to fix that damn fireplace to start.

The streets aren't filled with trash like everyone believes the streets of Paris should be like and it's actually beautiful if you take the time to look around and notice every little detail. If you don't, well, then you'll miss something you only get to see once. Like the Eiffel Tower, but how could you honestly miss that? Such beauty wrapped and a lot of blood, sweat, and tears put into one monumental building? It's enough to make a grown man cry, if I was that type of man.

Upon reaching our cottage Annabella races in, clearly still upset that we wouldn't get her a pastry. Jessalyn ignores her child and helps me put away all of the groceries. We dust off a little cupboard and start placing things in there. She picks up a loaf of bread and leans her nose into it.

"Ahhh....I love bread..."She says, happily. She's so approved of us that she forgets the dump we have to live in for now; making the best of it.

How can a kiss make her do all these things?

She puts away all of the breads and vegetables and then I help her put away the meats. We've got pork, cow, and chicken, which will last us for a while considering the heaping amounts we managed to get with such little money in our pockets.

Jessalyn walks to the living room and leans on the doorway; the entrance. She sighs and I walk up behind her and place my wooden hand on her shoulder.

"What's wrong now Jessalyn?'' I ask, always wondering why she has to change her mood so often, but so did the same thing when we first met. She's happy one minute and then sad the next, she aggravates me to a point where I almost feel the urge to bark at her like a mad man, because I am one.

She looks at me and pulls on my collared straps of my shirt and brings me to her, placing my lips on hers. It's just a sweet little peck, nothing more, and then she lets go of me.

"I feel like...I'm not good enough for you...I pushed you away when all you wanted was to see my scars on my body, and that time when you kissed me and I was outraged because you did..." She sighs again and I laugh, genuinely. I don't want it to come off rude.

"Jessalyn, why must you act like those women who love normal men and think they still aren't good enough? Look at me Jessalyn, nobody else will love this, your good enough in so many ways. That kiss? You were upset about your parents I wouldn't expect anything else, I just didn't want you to run away before I didn't get to do it..." I say and slowly brush a strand, brown curl out her eye.

She blushes brightly and closes her eyes and lets her chest rise and then fall again, like a huge weight has been lifted off of her tiny shoulders. With my height I seem to tower over her and she's so delicate and light that when I pick her up it feels like a pillow would.

She turns around and puts her forehead against one side of the doorway, the right one, and puts up a hand to balance herself on it. Her fingernails are dirty and uncut and her knuckles are caked in dirt as well. I've treated her so poorly...

"Luca...You look filthy...Go...Go take a bath..." Her words make me confused, and very, very questionable. She would never demand something of me, she's too sweet, and she doesn't do things like I would. Unless it's for a reason, so I back up from her, still confused, and make my way to the bathroom. This is one of the only rooms that's actually left in good condition and pretty clean.

There's a tub, a sink, and even a toilet. My eyes finally land again on the tub and I moan in pleasure, I've actually been too wrapped up in our current events to realize how badly I'm caked in all this grime. I walk over and lean on the counter that supports the sink, rosy pink wallpaper surrounding me. I look above into a mirror that stands on the wall and look at myself.

Jessalyn has no reason to be ashamed, she doesn't resemble a monster. My face is covered in scratches from previous events, my blonde hair is a mess from the wind outside, my red eyes are...Well, red as always. I do look filthy, Jessalyn is right about that, but why, out of the blue, would she demand I clean myself? Is she planning something afterward? Is she getting ready for an event she's going to force me to go to she noticed while we were walking earlier?

I start removing my shirt over my head and look again in the mirror. There's a giant bloody mark on one side of me and the other side is a large whip mark, that's lasted all these years. I wonder if Jessalyn's ever noticed it, but until recently she wasn't interested in looking at my chest. Maybe, she still isn't, that's alright though.

I slowly remove everything else, including my wooden arm, and turn the water for the tub on, it's cold at first but I like it that way. I step inside and let the water run all over my skin, standing up now and again. I let the water rinse out my dirt and the grease stuck in my blonde hair. I forgot to buy soap so I won't get all of it out, but the water does help a little. The water is way too loud while it fills up to hear anything and my eyes close in pleasure from the cleaning process.

My heart suddenly stops and my cheeks go so red I feel like I'm burning up from the inside. I don't turn my attention to the bathroom door that's now open, letting in even more cold from the air. A hand presses to my back and slides all the way to the stub of what's left of my left arm.

"J---Jessalyn?'' I ask, feeling myself embarrassed and still burning up. My voice cracks as I speak and I try not to turn around to look at her.

What is she doing?

Has she lost her mind?

She doesn't have to do this...

I hear her voice all around me when she whispers softly into my ear, even the water can't block out the sound.

"Turn around Luca..." She says this and I hesitate hearing water splash in the tub from someone else, I know what I did to her was wrong before, and I didn't even see anything but her back, but this is not right...Not for her anyways, why is she doing this? She doesn't want me to see her like this, I know that.

She tells me to turn around again and this time I close my eyes and turn, but I don't open them. I don't want her to do something she doesn't want to do. I feel two hands press on my eyes and she whispers again," Open your eyes Luca..." I sigh and then I finally open them, giving her what she wants.

She's so beautiful...

She's standing up in the tub, with only her feet in the water. Her cheeks are red, just like mine and her brown hair is wet and sticks to her face and neck; concealing a few scars like a mask. Water drizzles down her face and onto her body. Her body is as beautiful as well, every little thing about it. From head to toe. Her scars aren't as visible in the water, nor are the burns or bruises, but I love them and can still see them underneath the liquid.

I know this took a lot for her to do. I know she's ashamed of herself but she loves me. Does she really love me this much to do such a thing?

"Jessalyn, you don't have to do this..." I say, especially because it's awkward. I've never done anything like this with a woman either, not that it's going to turn out like that. It's just that I've never exactly been in this situation before.

She shakes her head at me and gives a small, lopsided grin at me, like a cat would. Although a cat cannot compare to her, not even a Persian.

"I want to," She says and comes closer and kisses me softly on the lips and then she turns back around, exits both the tub and the bathroom while wrapping a towel around herself before I can do or say anything.

Why would she do that?

Why?

Why?

Why?

I finish cleaning myself, but can't get Jessalyn's image out of my head. I won't forget it, ever. She did something that I've only seen, and I love her for that. I don't love the fact, though, that she'd do it when she doesn't like to be seen....Why? She saw me as well, for who I truly am behind those artistic outfits and that silly wooden arm I use.

I get out of the tub and grab a red towel, one that I had to dust off earlier that was left behind. I'm just glad I know that it's my towel and that I'm not using somebody else's. I wrap it around my waist and exit the bathroom like Jessalyn.

She's not in our bedroom but that gives me enough time to change into something. After I am dressed in a blue shirt and brown pants and my favorite pair of boots my hair is halfway dry. I walk down to the living room, because I know Jessalyn is always in there now. My assumption is correct, but not in a good way. I can hear faint crying and she's looking out of one of the windows that's open in the room. She's dressed in the red dress I first gave her that long, long ago night.

I rush over to her and turn her around, almost too roughly. She is indeed crying, but I don't know what for. I hate how she always cries...

"What's wrong Jessalyn?'' I ask and she blinks a few times to clear the tears away.

She ignores the question with her own, like her daughter does so often.

"Did I upset you?''

I shake my head, appalled at the thought of my poor Jessalyn thinking she could do such a thing to me.

"No, my sweet Jessalyn, why would you have upset me?'' I ask, concerned, I didn't know how she could even have done what she did anyways, I'm actually a little proud of her; in a dark sort of way.

I wipe the tears off her face, she needs to stop crying all the time, I can't stand to see her like this, and nobody could.

"I thought showing you everything would please you, that it would show how much I love you, that I could be someone you could be proud to say you love...'' I put my hand up to her words, interrupting her.

"I love you for who you are Jessalyn, yes I loved what you just did, and it was amazing. You must've been so brave...I could never do something like that, understand that. I'm proud to say I love you, look at me! I resemble the Devil, of course I'd be proud to have at least someone to love me, especially you Jessalyn. Come with me..." I say, and pull on her wrist tightly.

She doesn't reject me and I know she won't.

''Jessalyn, could you let me paint you...All of you..?''