How could something feel so right and so wrong all at once
I let out a sigh of relief as the rush quickly makes me numb
I couldn't take it anymore, my skin was crawling from the inside out
Nights spent awake restless from withdrawal, just tossing and turning about
Promised I'd stop but I couldn't resist
And just like that it's all better with just one hit from a pin
Drugs make me happy when everything else makes me sad
Drugs will never leave you and never get mad
If I could, I would just get high forever and create art
But if life were that easy, this chemical wouldn't tear me apart
Brown powder in the bag, gray liquid in the spoon
When it almost turns black that's when you know it's good
Wish I could just stay on this permanent cloud, I'd never care at all
Never again scared to live or terrified to fall
My mind isn't clear but that's how I like it
It's easier to stay numb without the gears in my head turning
Being high and in love, the two strongest addictions
I need rehab for both of them if I want to cure this sickness
After 5 years I could put down the cigarette but not the needle
Rather stick myself now than smoke even though they're both lethal
I want to get better but I don't know how anymore
This is the only life I know, and the one I once adored
But now it feels more like a roller coaster you can never get off
No matter how many times I try to get it to stop
I guess I don't see the point the rhyme or the reason
It's been years since I gave a damn about my own well being
18 in 10 days and life's never been worse
What I once saw as a gift is now just a curse
YOU ARE READING
Secret Poems I Wrote In My Room
PoetryThis is my story told in poetry, my thoughts, feelings, my truth, and what I go through in writing. The part of me only a few know about. My dreams and my expressions all in one.
