The Hard Choices of Life

(17) Apologies

"So May Lee, what happened next?" Said Zelena with a urge in her voice through the phone.

"I just like snapped at her." I said munching on some chips. " Like I legit spilled everything that was going on, right to her face" I said letting out a sigh.

"And now you feel like trash about it, don't you?"

"Yeah. I want to go apologize, but I don't know like, how to start to apologize"

"Try me"

"Pansy I want to tell you how sorry I am for throwing all my crap at your face and stealing men from you and being royal perfection" I said with an eye roll.

"Yeah, no. So she said that about you?" I could hear Zelena gasping from the other end.

"Yep. Oh and then later on I kinda kissed James..."

"Serious?! Wow...wait but I thought you had a thing for your friend Sam. Didn't you go on a few dates or so?"

"Well yeah, but it was never like official and I had feelings for James too. It's all so confusing"

"You do realize that sooner or later you have to make a choice, right? Not about Pansy, but the boys. It's either James or Sam. You got to make a choice." Zelena said seriously.

I groaned and sighed. " I know, but it's just so hard. They are both great, kind, talented--"

"Who is a better kisser?" Said Zelena with a spice.

"Oh God Zelena! I don't pay attention to that"

"Well you have to. You have to pick one of them."

" I can't pick between my best friends. I....I love them both."

Zelena hummed. "Oh!"

"What?"

"I know what you can do! Do like in Bachelorette, go on dates with both of them and decide then." She finished with a squeal.

"Isn't that kinda slutty?" I questioned her.

"What?! No! It's called dating, May." I could sense her eye rolls. " You have to make a choice so this is the way, to make a choice."

I sighed. " I'll see what I'll do" I looked at the clock. "Well I'm going now to apologize to Pansy" I said, as I got off my bed.

"Good luck"

-----------------------------------------------------------

I walked down the streets getting close to Pansy's house. I practiced what I would say, but it all just sounded kinda harsh and bland. Probably because that's how it sounded in my head. I stepped in her lawn and walked towards the front door.

I sighed. Here goes nothing. I knocked the door, to Pansy's mom opening the door.

"Well hello May" She said cheerfully.

"Hi" I smiled. " Is Pansy home?"

" Oh you just missed her. She took off to the park." She said.

"Oh. Well thank you." I nodded, said goodbye and took off to the park.

~~~

I got to find Pansy, sitting alone at the swings at the lonely park. She spotted me walking over and looked at the ground. I sat next to her and stayed silent for a couple of minutes.

"Hi" I said as I poked her cheek.

"Hello" She said in whisper.

"Pansy I don't like fighting with you"

"I don't like fighting with you either" She said shuffling her foot on the sand.

" That's why I'm here to say I'm sorry for what I did. All I wanted to do was protect you"

"And I'm sorry for treating you so badly on the first day of school and making you snap" She said as she looked at me.

" That's was kinda on me tho" I said, making Pansy giggle.

"So you really did send Sam to date me so I wouldn't be disappointed with rejection?" She asked.

"Kinda. I'm sorry for that."

"It's kinda evil when you think about it, but you did it for me. I can't believe you did that" She answered.

"You are one of my best friends. My only actual GIRL friend. I would do anything for you"

She looked at me in awe. " I would do anything for you too"

We smiled at each other. "Friends again?" We asked in unison.

"Jinx!" We said at the same time and laughed.

"I'm so glad we aren't mad anymore"

"Me too" I agreed.

"So talking about other things..." She started as she drifted. "James really likes you. I can dare myself to say he loves you."

I sighed. "Pansy, can we talk girl to girl now? Like I tell you my boy problems and you give me advice?"

"I can't promise I'll be any help, but I can try. Go ahead."

"I've been having feelings for both Sam and James for a while now"

She nodded to assure me that she was listening.

"James and I at the beginning of last semester we dated for a few weeks, I kinda had a crush on him and he was one of the people that were sending me things too, but didn't go forward to anything else because of some problems with Amber. Then before all of that Sam declared that he liked me, and started to treat me for more than just a friend so I kinda started to have feelings for him too. Through all this time I have been like having moments with each of them trying to decide my mind, but I can't."

"Because you know that if you pick one of them, the other one will be mad at you and stop the friendship." Pansy took a breath. "I feel like you should be honest with both of them and let them know how you feel."

" I called Zelena and asked her opinion. She suggested I dated them at the same time, of course both of them knowing, and then decide, like in the Bachelorette"

Pansy looked up. "That's...not a bad idea. You can get to know them more and set your choice without feeling like an evil monster for dating them both secretly."

"I'm gonna tell them both and if they want, we can do that"

"That's the best thing to do. From the way I kinda see things and from knowing how they both are, I'm pretty sure they won't disagree. They'll probably be mad at first but then agree. They aren't people to go down without a fight." She said as she did a combat move, but failed epically.

I giggled and said, "You are right. I'll keep my distance from both for a while, and then meet up to tell them"

"Sounds like a plan" She said, as her phone buzzed. She looked at a text. "Mom says she has cookies"

My eyes went wide and got up. "It's time to go home sweetie" I said, as I extended my hand to her.

She took my hand to stand up. "Let's go home!" She said cheerfully.

" I bet I can get there faster than you"

"Las ganas tuyas" Said Pansy, as we raced to her house for cookies.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~