Friends

Part 1

You watch the YouTube video of your best friend as he performs a show, and you sigh, propping your chin upon your fist. He's in the middle of the stage, microphone held in his pale hand as he sings to the roaring crowd, lights flashing all around him.

You've been friends with Chris since you were kids and next door neighbors. You're not sure how you would have survived high school without him, you were shy and nervous and definitely not a people person. You're pretty sure the experience insured he always viewed you as the kid sister he needed to keep the bullies away from, going to such a point he would teasingly ruffle your hair like a big brother would.

You'd had to learn how to stand up for yourself when he graduated, but it gave you a tougher skin and probably is the reason you're so snarky now.

You're not sure when you started loving Chris in a different way, maybe he started off as your first love and that just never changed. You used to feel so alone when he wasn't around, it was hard when you both moved to different places and your only contact was online.

You tried dating other people, have had some great relationships, but none of them felt right. You just hadn't felt that warmth for them like you should, the one that starts in the middle of your chest and spreads to the rest of your body, causing you to smile just because you look at them.

Your last relationship lasted three years, and just recently the two of you had broken it off because you didn't return his feelings - which was made clear the night he proposed to you and you turned him down.

He's moved out for the most part, the rest of his things in boxes. The fight is still pretty fresh in your mind, considering it wasn't too long ago, and it's so quiet without him in the large apartment,you feel more alone now than you ever have.

You both said some terrible things to each other, and you regret that. He was a good guy, and he deserves someone to marry and settle with, you shouldn't have wasted his time. The fact he always threw Chris up in your face didn't help, and honestly it was the final straw.

You haven't seen Chris in a few years except for the occasional Skype. You've met his band, they're all friendly enough in passing, although you and Devin both bonded the most out of all of them. You go through spells where you talk constantly, probably more so than you do anyone else.

You jump as music suddenly blares loudly, huffing as you glance over to see your phone vibrating on your desk. Chris name lights up the screen, and you snort as you pick it up.

Think of the devil.

"Hey, I was just thinking about you." You lean back in your desk chair, listening to it creak. You know he's on tour right now, but you're not sure where he is in the states. You're such a homebody, you can't imagine being on the road all the time.

"Good to know I cross your mind now and again. How are you?" Chris asks, and you can hear a lot of background noise. The guys laughing, car horns, the Rev of an engine.

"I'm good," you say, forcing a bright tone. Honestly, you're debating on another glass of wine to combat the depressing idea that you're a failure at relationships due to pining over a man that has never given you a first glance, let alone a second. You doubt he even noticed when you went through puberty and stopped looking like a twelve year old boy.

You can remember trying to look pretty every day before school, trying to look your best for the ten minute drive. Your sisters used to make fun of you for it, and it embarrassed you to no end. Your father had passed away and it was just your mom raising three teenage girls, so it wasn't like you could drive yourself, and you weren't about to ride the bus. Chris was so supportive during that time, doing what he could at that age to make it a little better on you.