*comment for the next chapter
For the rest of the week kasey has visited me. His main excuse was i didn't want you to be lonely, but I felt that there was more to it, and he just didn't want to tell me. We now sat with our backs against my headboard staring into space carrying on with meaningless conversations. Both our eyes laid low just as our breathing did. "How long until your Christmas break over?" kasey took a quick glimpse at me before returning his eyes to the tv screen. We sat right beside each other on my chilly bed "..it didn't feel like much of a break for me, we haven't even put presents under the tree yet." I smiled looking down at his arms that were folded at his chest. "I leave in 2 weeks.." he says lowly to me, suddenly I got an headache. "Leave where?" shifting my entire body his way we were now facing eachother his facial expression change dramatically as if he felt the exact same way I felt. "Um..I'm leaving back to Arkansas, this was just temporary to spend Christmas with my cousin." At that very moment I could feel those hot tears building up at the rim of my eyes, my throat began closing tightly, I was afraid to even speak at the moment fearing that I wouldn't be able to keep those tears back. "don't even cry.." he placed his palms on each side of my face "you don't have to cry charls seriously." he had promise in his eyes without even verbally saying it, but deep down I knew it. "I'll be back durning the summer time, and when you think about it that's not far away." he hands turned warm on my skin as i looked up in his eyes. "that is far away kasey." Anguish became apparent in my voice, as he pursed his lips. Out of his entire time of being here this was our deepest moment, and we weren't anything, but friends. "trust me now, I'll definitely be back—same place each time." His face relaxed a bit as he lowly chuckled. His hands still on the sides of my face allowed me to smell whatever scent he had on very well the scent smelled wonderful. Closing my eyes tightly allowing myself to embrace this moment. "..you're so nice to me, and in this little time that we've been spending together it's helped me a lot." I speak lowly under my breath while slowly reopening my eyes, his eyes fell to my lips my heart began to race as his eyes met mine again. He leaned his face into mine pressing his soft lips against my own. closing my eyes tightly, I've never felt so tense in my life. His hand slowly drifted from my face below my hips, his cold fingertips brushed my naval giving me goosebumps all throughout my body. Before I knew it his hand met the warmth of me making me break the kiss. "..kasey, I can't." I whisper tilting my head from his lips straightening myself up. His face seemed flushed before he looked away from me. "..im sorry, I just..im scared." I spoke honestly not knowing if I should embarrassed or not. He didn't say anything for a second, but only looked at me. "..my fault—" he said biting his bottom lip. " got carried away." my face heated up, this was so awkward, and he looked painfully embarrassed. "I had to stop you Kasey,"I spoke lowly, but loud enough for him to hear me. He didn't say anything back to me. "Kasey you know we could've both regretted that." he eyed me briefly before fixing his shirt. "I wouldn't of, but I respect your choice." now I couldn't read him. Was he upset with me? Or was he just embarrassed? Too embarrassed to look me in the eye. Pursing my lips I stood from my bed just as he did. "..um maybe we should do something else." he chuckled at me. "Yeah maybe we should." He glanced at me before walking over to the door slipping his shoes on. "you want to take a walk?" he suggested, and that would nice. "of course we both need the fresh air." he left the room for me to get dressed, as soon as the door shut I collapsed on my bed. Charlie what the hell is wrong with you. My conscience making me think out loud, I saw it coming. I brushed my hair from my face letting out a sigh. Pull it together.
Before stepping outside I threw my jacket on. Kasey held the door for me as we proceeded off of the porch. The grass under our feet crunched every time we would make a step breaking the layer of frost that covered it. Kasey was silent with his hands stuffed into his pockets. It was irritating me, he was acting as if nothing just happened back in the room. "what are we doing Kasey?" my voice raised in confusion. "what all teenagers do Charlie." he said not turning his head to face me. "..we aren't all teenagers kasey," I grabbed his shoulders halting him in his steps. "we're just us, and I feel bad that, that even happened back there. I don't want it to mess up what we had." "Nothing's going to change the way I feel about you right now okay?" he spoke honestly this time gazing into my eyes. "I feel foolish Charls, I'm the one who let my rush get the best of me." the heaviness that I felt back in my room was slowly returning I could feel it, I'm attracted to him. I parted my lips to speak yet nothing came out. why am I so nervous.
"What's going on?" a voice from a distance asked, I looked up at Kaseys face to find which direction he stared in. When I found it my heart raced. "Kareem?" he nodded once he made his way over, "Kasey man I've been looking for you everywhere your momma called asking for you." he finished his sentence by quickly flashing a glance my way yet he didn't say anything to me. "..you looked everywhere, but my house? wow." i spoke lowly trying to get his attention. "Hey Charlie." he said nonchalantly, like he really didn't care. "hey? Kareem I haven't seen or spoken to you in 2 weeks." he pursed his lips at me. "I've been busy." "I sense tension," Kasey chuckled. "I'm out, Charlie text me." He said before walking off. "But I don't have your number." I shouted loud for him to hear me. "Then I'll text you." he blew me a kiss before stuffing his hands back into his pockets leaving both me, and Kareem alone. I haven't spoken to him this long why start back. I pivoted on my heels proceeding home when he grasped my wrist. "come on Charlie you're not going to speak?" "No, a least not right now I'm tired" I replied trying to release my self from his grip. "come on, there's been some personal things going on, and I didn't want you involved." "and I'm suppose to feel such pity for you Kareem," he finally let me go. "I can't attempt to help you if you don't let me in on things, and now I don't even want to be involved." I began walking away. "Charlie please, you're my friend I would be there for you. There's just some things I need to keep to my self." My mouth wanted to hang open, but I kept it shut. "Kareem, my brother was locked up, and I haven't seen you since that night! You like to show up when the healing is done, and say that you stuck beside me," I pushed my hair back sighing "mentally I've been much better without you in my life." honestly that flowed from my mouth so easily as if a load was carried away from me. Kareem squinted his eyes at me nodding his head slowly. That gave me that chance to proceed home. "Johnna, she's pregnant."
So I've been trying to update more quickly! Leave some helpful comments. What do you think?
Excuse the errors.
