Always

Epilogue

"Hey Aubrey!" Cassie called from her car, "Are you coming or not?"
"Yeah, just a sec!" I shouted back.
"We're gonna be late to school you know," she said as I climbed in the passenger seat.
"We're going to be even later if you don't start driving soon." We laughed and she headed towards the school.

Its been a a little over a month now since James died, and things are mostly back to normal. I remember the first few days being the hardest. Even though I was there when he took his last breath, I still had to come to terms with the fact that he was really gone. I didn't go to school for weeks, I avoided it because knew it would be too hard. When I finally went back to school, all of my teachers and friends were really understanding and nobody asked much about it. It was still hard though, everything reminded me of him. I hadn't even been near the school since the day of homecoming, and it turns out they passed on the crowns to the runner ups, since James and I weren't there to accept. Other than that, it almost seemed like nothing had changed.

Cassie pulled up to the school, but I was zoning out.
"Hey," she said as she turned to face me, "is everything okay?"
"Oh, yeah, I"m fine," I said, interrupting my thoughts, "just thinking about him." Cassie looked at me with sad eyes and put her hand on my shoulder.
"I'm sorry," she said, "do you need to go home?"
"No, no, I'll be okay," I said as I started to get out of the car. She got out too and we walked into the school together.

Most days after school, I visited James' family. They're still having a rough time, but they put on a brave face every time I come around. His little sister, Mia, sees a kids' therapist once a week now because James death was a 'traumatic experience' for her. It's sad to see someone so young have to deal with such a big loss, she's only 4. I remember sitting with her at James' funeral. I let her sit in my lap and I had my arms wrapped around her the whole time. She cried a lot, everyone did. I try to be there for the Wyatts, though, because it's harder on them than it is on me.

"Hey Mrs. Wyatt," I said as I walked into James' house after school, "how are you doing today?"
"I'm alright, honey," she said, I could tell she was forcing her smile though. "How are you?"
"I'm good, I thought about him a lot today," I said, as I sat down next to her on the couch. She sighed really loudly.
"Not a day goes by that I don't think about him," she said as she looked up to the ceiling. I put my hand on her shoulder to comfort her, and we sat in silence together for awhile until I had to go home.

Overall, I have to say I'm doing well. Right after his death, I felt like I would never stop grieving, but I've learned to cope a lot better now. Even though the funeral was sad, it gave me the closure I was looking for. But some mornings when I wake up, I can't help miss him and grieve over him. I loved James, and I know I always will.