Joshler one-shots

Too Much and Not Enough

TW: Eating Disorders,  Emergency Hospitalizations

Summary: When Tyler leaves on a month long trip, Josh's mild anorexia becomes a life-or-death situation. (yes, I know the song timeline doesn't fit. Just roll with it.)

"I love you."

Josh clutched Tyler tightly against him, feeling a tear crawl down his cheek. He was going to miss his boyfriend. A little over a year ago, Ty had moved out to LA with him. Long distance relationships were hard, and neither of them had felt that it was working.  But Josh couldn't bring himself  to move back home. Too much had happened in that town, the house, that family. So Tyler had come to him.

This wasn't the first time Tyler had gone somewhere without him, but it was the longest. An entire month. Tyler was going home to see his friends and family, and Josh had chosen to stay. His mental health had been shaky at best recently- going home would just push him over the edge.

"I love you, too, Ty," he whispered back. They held each other tightly for a moment before finally stepping back. Tyler's flight was boarding it's last few passengers- he had to go.

"Hey, chin up, alright?" Tyler asked, his brown eyes staring into Josh's. "I'll be back before you know it."

~~~

Josh frowned at his reflection in the mirror, shirt pulled up to expose his thin stomach and all too prominent ribcage. He turned sideways, frowning at the imaginary bulge of fat that stuck out. He pinched at his skin, the fat seeming to multiply as he did so.

It had been a week since Tyler had left, and Josh was planning to do something special for his boyfriend. By the time Tyler came back, he wanted to be skinny. In his mind, he wasn't already. He wanted Tyler to be able to pick him up and swing him around, wanted to be swallowed in Ty's embrace, wanted to be the small spoon who fit perfectly against all of Tyler's curves. He wanted to be able to fall inside his boyfriend.

Josh jumped, pulled from his thoughts as his phone rang loudly. "Hello?" he asked as he picked up.

"Hey, DJ Spooky Jim," Tyler said happily from the other side of the phone. "How's it shaking?"

Josh had to laugh at his goofy choice of words. "It's shaking," he said through a giggle.  "How's you mom? Did you tell her how wonderful that sweater she sent me is? And what about your dad?"

Tyler laughed back. "They're great. Mom's already plotting to send you dozens more. She's convinced that you'll get cold, even in LA. I don't think she understands how warm it is. Dad's great- he's been having a blast scaring Madison's new boyfriend. Zackie and Jay are home, too. It's nice being back together with everyone. I've missed them."

Josh couldn't help but grin. He loved it when Tyler was happy. "Madison's new boyfriend... make sure he knows that i'll be participating in beating him up if he hurts her."

Tyler chuckled. "Trust me, he knows. Hey, I talked to your mom yesterday. She misses you, Josh."

Josh inhaled quickly. "She does, does she?" he asked, unable to keep the bitter edge from his voice.

Tyler sighed. "Josh, she loves you, despite everything that happened. So does your Da. And you know Abby and Ashley and Jordan all love you and miss you."

Josh took the opportunity to change the topic. "Did you talk to Ashley and Abby about coming out to visit?"

"Yeah they- hold on." Tyler disappeared for minute. "I gotta go, Josh. Zack and I are meeting Jenna for coffee. I love you!"