Lion and Lace [Tom Hiddleston]

Episode 24

I wake slowly, floating to the surface of consciousness and smiling when I find Tom wrapped around me. I move his hand from the spot where it naturally rests on my lower abdomen, lacing my fingers with his and touching them with my lips. I feel him stir behind me, nuzzling my hair with his nose and groaning against my skin. I roll to my back and he catches my mouth with a deep kiss.

"Good morning beautiful."

"Yes it is. I love waking up with your arms around me."

He runs his hand over my belly and I cringe again before guiding it away.

"Bec. What's going on there?"

"Where?"

"Here," he moves his hand back down and it takes every ounce of willpower not to swat it away.

One thing Tom has done for me right from the beginning, that I didn't know I needed, was push my limits and take me to the very edge of my comfort zone. Sometimes it is freeing and wonderful, and sometimes – like now – it's like picking a scab that's best left alone.

"Nothing. I just don't want to be touched there. Can we just leave it at that?"

He tilts his head and looks up at me through furrowed eyebrows.

"I'll tell you when I'm ready. Please don't make me talk about it before then."

"Alright," he sighs.

"What do you want to do today?"

"I want to stay right here with you and make love to you. All day."

"Mmm... ok."

"I love you, Bec."

"I love you, too."

I never thought there would be such a thing as 'enough' sex with Tom, but by Monday my body is absolutely done. The sun is still barely stretching its golden fingers over the city when I wake up to a spread-limbed Tom taking up most of the bed, and I scooch over to lie on his chest.

"Mmm... good morning, love."

"Good morning my Thomas."

"You think we should get out of bed today?"

I shrug as best I can without moving from his warmth. "Probably. Maybe at lunchtime so you can get packed."

"Sounds perfect."

He pushes me to my back and straddles me, caging me in with his long limbs. His lips kiss my mouth and work down my body, all thoughts of being spent flying out the window with his soft tongue.

As his sticky seed dries on my thigh and our sweaty bodies lay tangled on top of the sheets, I take his hand and interlace our fingers, letting him touch my lower belly for the first time with my guidance. I look up at his face and clear my throat.

"This happened after we lost James. It's swelling from all the complications and it never went away."

Tom nods and rubs over it gently with his fingers and I use all the energy I have left to keep my face from contorting into a wince.

"Why does it bother you so much? It's not noticeable, Bec."

"It's a constant reminder that my body failed him. That I failed him."

"You didn't. It wasn't your fault."

"Not directly. But so many times..." I pause to wipe my face. "So many times I thought what a nightmare it was. How I wished it hadn't happened. And then he was gone."

"Sweetheart, that doesn't make you responsible. You're entitled to your feelings, just as you're entitled to be devastated with the outcome. You weren't to know."