Lion and Lace [Tom Hiddleston]

Episode 28

There are no words fit to describe Rome - it almost literally takes away my breath. After being here only a day I feel a little lighter, as though my woes are all safely locked away in my flat at home. They'll be there when I get back, but for now I don't have to deal with them because of the borders I've crossed. Late in the evening with my official duties completed I sip the deepest red wine I could find and call Tom.

He answers with a weary sigh. "Rebecca."

"Hi." I say softly.

"God it's good to hear your voice."

"You too."

"Where are you?"

"Rome. Film festivals."

"Ah, I see. Enjoy, it's one of my favourite places in the world."

"Tom, I just wanted to let you know I'm..."

I'm what? I'm ok? I'm out of the country? So angry, that Prue felt it necessary to put a country between us?

"You're what, darling?"

I must have paused much longer than I realise. "Please don't call me that."

"Sorry. What were you going to say?"

"I'm not sure I can get past this. Trust is the foundation of a relationship, for us especially. You're away so much, I can't be watching you all the time and I don't want to. I want to trust that when you go away nothing will happen. I don't know how we get that back."

"Anything you need, Bec. I'll do it. Anything."

"I just need time to think. There's nothing else you can do."

"I do love you." His voice cracks and trembles.

"I know." I try to hold back a sigh and steady my breath. "I love you, too. It wouldn't hurt so much if I didn't."

"Bec, I can not tell you how sorry I am. I have no feelings toward her, we were talking about kissing scenes and then she was kissing me."

"And you were kissing her."

"Yes. I won't lie. For a few seconds I kissed her back. I wish I could offer an explanation, but there isn't one. I had far too much to drink and as soon as that happened I left, it was almost 4am. I'm not telling you this by way of excusing my behaviour, but I was so hungover the next morning I missed my flight. That's why I didn't call you, I was so ashamed. It takes a lot for me to be that hungover."

"I believe all of that, Tom."

"I'll stop drinking. I'll give it up completely."

"No."

"What, then?"

"I have to deal with this. Alone."

"But I did this to you, Bec. It's my fault."

"Yes, it is. And you'll have to live with whatever I decide, you'll have to live with the fact that you hurt me and you dumped this on me. You pulled the rug out from under me, I never would have thought you'd do something like this."

"Nor did I."

"I have to go. I'll talk to you when I get back I guess."

"All right."

I don't intend to hang up so abruptly, but I can't hold my voice any longer. I've choked back sobs and blinked back so many tears my facial muscles are cramping and as soon as the phone is out of my hand I flop forward and howl into my hands.

Two days later I'm attempting to hide my puffy eyes behind the camera when a gentle hand lands on my shoulder and a voice whispers in my ear.

"You're at the wrong end of the carpet, deary."