Twisted Knot

thresholds and being held

((dedication to Mothflight for the banner/alternate cover! Thank you!))

((Ok, the chapter specifically will have some adult content.

I decided to bold the naughty parts, in case you want to skip them, although they are somewhat crucial to the plot at this point. I changed the rating for this chapter, so if you are not an adult, you probably should not red this. So, again, EXLICIT CONTENT below, in bold. if you don't want to read the sex parts, just skip them.  I tried not to make it too graphic, but I did want to capture an important turning point in the story.

Thanks readers, and as always, don't be shy with comments, even constructive criticism))

~Elizabeth~

Paul kissed me and I just waited for my brain to react. Sure, earlier tonight I thought I wanted him for a brief a moment, but that was before so much revelation had happened. I mean, was I even in a state where I could make this kind of decision?

Paul was Stefan's best friend, did I want to be that kind of cruel? His flings, I assumed, had been with random strangers and trivial employees. Of course, Isabella the Nanny was practically family. I still needed to fire her.

Paul did not want a one night stand. He wanted me to leave my husband. He loved me.  

How did I feel, well, that was a complicated question. As I relished feel of his lips on mine, the heat of his chest pushing into my body, I lost control. His tongue danced around in mine, and suddenly I felt a different desire. God, two months was a long time to go without sex. And Paul's lips were like chocolate covered strawberries, too good to pass on and you couldn't have just one taste.

As Paul kissed my neck and gently trailed his lips down my collarbone, he transformed in my eyes. No longer was he platonic Paul, but he became a sexy man who seemed to actually care about my needs. God, I was going to give in, I thought. I wanted to forget Stefan for a night flagrant, wild, hot, passionate sex! Paul's lips were back on mine and I felt his hands pull on my robe and I tensed. Suddenly I knew I couldn't do this, because Paul deserved better. I wouldn't, couldn't use him for revenge sex. Even if he would enjoy it.

"Paul," I said, prompting him to groan happily as he kissed my neck. 

"Say my name again," he said. I giggled and grabbed his shoulders, gently shaking him. 

"I need you to use your upstairs brain real quick," I said. He kissed, briefly, once more.  

"OK," he said quietly. "What is it, my beautiful Beth."  

He hadn't called me Beth before, and I strangely enjoyed it.

"Paul, did Stefan tell you about the deal we made..." 

"Yes he did. And I saw that i was the first, and probably the only man you wanted." 

"Well yes, you were. But Paul, I can't do this to you. It be a one night stand, and you love me. I can't use you for sex...even if I want to. Even if Stefan deserves it." 

"First of all, "we" are not going to have sex. Our first time will be when you finally realize you love me, and only me." 

"Paul, I am probably not leaving my husband, ever." 

"We will see..." 

"Paul, I can't do this..."

I pushed him back and cried.

"No, don't cry because of me. I don't want to make you cry," He said. I just pulled back.

"How is this possible," I said. "I'm losing a marriage and my best friend in one night."