I was scared but I opened the door. Laughing people pointing at me was all I saw. 'Hey you little bastard', someone shouted. My heart beated so fast and my arms felt heavy.
I was a sensitive person so I couldn't handle this hate. I felt like I was nothing. This happened everyday and I couldn't change anything about it. Tears were in my eyes and I just left the classroom. Them seeing me being down was the last thing I wanted.
I left school and went home.
I knew that I wasn't ready to go to school again but at least I tried not to skip school as I always do.
'Hi Paula, don't you have school right now?', my dad said anxiously as he saw me. I didn't answer him.
I didn't like talking to him so much because I was scared that he could see the pain in my eyes. He didn't know I got bullied. I needed his help but I was scared that it would make the situation worse.
I walked in my room as my eyes were streaming with tears. But I didn't want to stop crying. I wanted to cry until I couldn't anymore. I laid in my bed grabbing for my headphones and listened to some good music. Questions went through my head. Why couldn't I be somebody important to somone? Why couldn't I be anybody else? Why was my life so unfair?
I didn't want all this hate anymore.
I couldn't bear it. All I wanted was dying.
Nobody would miss me and I wouldn't miss anybody except Ellie.
Elena Jane Goulding.
She was the reason why I lived. I could look at her a whole day long and couldn't find one mistake in her face. Every song of her was perfect.
She is perfect. When she smiled, I had to smile.
She just makes me so happy although I'm not. She makes me forget about everything. I wanted to meet her just once in my life. I wanted to tell her what she means to me.
