Bob awoke with a start. He jolted out of his comfy chair and onto the rough concrete floor below. "Oww," he groaned.
Helping himself up, Bob realized he couldn't see. He let out a moan as he fell back down. "Dang it and all the flabby Mondays!"
Bob felt his face and it felt the exact same - squishy, flabby, and comforting. Wait... Bob ripped off the black pillow that was stuck to his face. All the light came back to his eyes!
Bob attempted to jump for victory but was dragged down with a thump by his bulbous gut. "Oh well," he shrugged and waddled to his chair again. Suddenly, the door bell rang.
"Urrrghh," Bob grunted as he lifted himself out of the chair. He tried to walk over to the door, but didn't have the energy. He flopped to the ground and ended up dragging himself with his front hooves. He carefully planted his feet on the ground and nudged the door open with his snout.
"Hel-OW!" Bob screamed as something warm and wet smacked his face. Rubbing whatever it was off with his hoof, he looked up to see Shirley, the evil pink monkey grinning devillishly at him.
"You!" he accused.
"Me!" Shirley shrieked, in her creaky high voice. Jumping over him, she ran into his living room and defecated, right there on his favorite chair!
"No! Ugh, I just got a new one from last time...hopefully feces comes off easier than urine," Bob groaned. He lunged with all his might at Shirley, but fell right in front of her feet before he could reach her.
"Not so strong now, eh?" Shirley teased, then cackled hysterically.
Bob, remembering his signature moved, lifted his head so his horn went right up her anus. Shirley gasped in shock.
"Owww!" she yelled, trying to tug it out. But it was no use. "You...you..."
"Oh, oh no Shirley, please don't say it, not in front of Mr. Fluffles," Bob gasped, glancing at his favorite little stuffed Kangaroo on the shelf.
"You RAPSCALLION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Shirley boomed, and the whole house shook. Mr. Fluffles's ears turned inside out.
"Noooooooooo!" Bob, using the last bit of strength he had left, leapt at Shirley and pinned her to the ground. "How DARE you?!?!?!?!"
Shirley, panting and gasping for breath, tried to struggle out of his grasp, but he held firm.
Bob stared hard at her, then all of a sudden, a strange feeling overwhelmed him. It must have came upon Shirley, too, because her eyes got all foggy.
They both leaned forward in harmony and planted a huge smooch on eachother's lips.
