Ahead of me lies an unconsious Zack. His leg is wrapped all the way to his upper thigh. There is a medium-size bandage on his head which leads me to think he needed stitches, and a cast on his arm that has his pinky and ring finger wrapped and ends about an inch below his elbow. His leg is propped up on a small pillow and his arm is laying on his unconscious body. Every part of me wants to break down into 1 million pieces but I know I must be strong for Zack. I walk over to the left side of his bed and hold his hand. He wiggles his arm at the feeling of my hand and I see his eyes open a tiny bit. He groans in pain.
"Oh Zack" I say looking at him sympathetically. He squeezed my hand a little bit and I smile.
"What happened" he whispers lightly, is voice a bit shaky.
"I'm not sure. You will remember in a bit" I say to him and he nods. He looks at his arm and down at his leg and sighs.
"Can you press the nurses button for me" Zack asks quietly and I nod and press the nurses button.
"Oh and Zack this is Danny. He helped you when you had your asthma attack" I explain to Zack.
"Thank you Danny" Zack says and half smiles.
"Thats my job" Danny says smiling.
"Well I just came to see how you were doing. Im gonna go now. You guys need some alone time. I hope you feel better" Danny says, walking out.
"Where's Joe" Zack asks. That's the only question I didn't want to ask.
"Uhm, I, Uhm, he kinda, uhm, hes in his own hospital room" I explain.
"Oh my God why" Zack asks.
"Uhm, I, Uhm he had, an uhm, Anxiety Attack" I say to Zack. He lets go of my hand and puts his hand over his face. At first, he lightly cries. Then his light cries turn into violent sobs.
"Zack it's not your fault. There's nothing you could do" I say. I go to run my fingers through his hair and when I touched his head he flinches. He moves his hand and grips onto the bedsheet.
"Oh my God I'm so sorry" I say shaking. I hurt Zack. Oh my God.
"No it's not you a-all this c-crying is hurting m-my head" He says in between sniffs. He lets go of the bed sheet and wipes his eyes. As he's wiping his eyes a nurse walks in.
"Oh sweetheart" she says, walking over to Zacks bed.
"do you need more pain medication" She asks sweetly. Zack lightly nods and the nurse grabs some medicine off the desk. She hands him the pills. He swallows them and puts his arm on the sheets. I grabbed his hand and put it in mine. He lightly smiles.
"Can you go see Joe for me and tell me how he's doing" Zack asks.
"Uhm sure. Are you sure you will be OK alone" I say and he nods.
"all right. I will be right back" I say and he smiles. I walk out and go to the elevator. I get in and click the button to go down to the lobby. When the elevator stops I go down to the front desk.
"Hi what room is Joe kirk in" I ask the lady at the front desk. She types something and looks at me..
"Room 227" she says and I thank her. I decide to take the stairs since it's faster. I end up at the second floor panting. I walk past Zack's room and hear screaming/crying. I walk in and see Zack holding his head and screaming. The nurse is trying to calm him down but it's not working. I run over to the bed and stroke his arm.
"What happened" I ask the nurse.
"He isn't taking well to the medication it's mostly his head" the nurse says. I grab Zack's arm and move it away from his head. I wrap my hand around his and he squeezes my hand tightly.
"Breathe Zach. It's going to be all right" I say to him and he squeezes my hand harder. The nurse comes over and puts an IV in Zack's hand. He cries himself to sleep. Once he's asleep I look at him in awe. Did that just happen? I stare at him in shock for about a minute or so. I then walk out and walk down the hall. I walk to room 227 and take a few seconds before walking in. Every part of me wants to go in but my mind and emotions are telling me no. After a minute of thinking I enter Joe's hospital room. I walk in and see Joe sitting up wiping tears from his eyes. His face is red and blotchy from crying. "Maddie" he says looking at me. A tear slips from his eyes and he starts crying again.
"Awe Joe whats wrong" I ask walking over to him. I pulled him into a hug and let him cry onto my shoulder. I rub his back and he calms down after about five minutes of crying.
"I'm just so glad you're here" he says to me and I hug him.
"Awe Joe" I say squeezing him. I let go of him and he looks at me. He looks down and starts to play with his hands.
"Uhm, How is he" He asks.
"Well, uhm, hes, uhm, he's not doing so well" I tell him.
"Oh God" Joe says laying down. He starts to breathe heavily.
"Its ok Joe" I say to him.
"Do you have a rubber band" he asks struggling for breath. I look on my wrist and see a rubber band. I give it to him and he puts it on his wrist. He pulls it back and let's go. It painfully hits the cuts on his wrist. He does this about three more times and his wrist begins to turn red.
"Joe please stop. It's going to be all right" I say and he looks at me. Tears fill his eyes. He shakes his head and looks back at his wrist. He runs his fingers across the cuts on his wrist. He grabs the rubber band. He hesitates for a second before pulling the rubber band back. He lets go and then grab his wrist and pain. I rub his back as he holds his wrist and burst into tears.
"Joe do you want to take a walk you need some fresh air" I ask. He nods and begins to stand up. I put my hand out to help him up. He grabs it and I pull him to his feet. Once he's on his feet he lets go of my hand and grab his wrist. I look at his wrist and see it shaking in pain.
"can I see your wrist" I ask. He hesitates for a few seconds then extends his arm out towards me. I turn his arm and look at his wrist. The force from the elastic opened one of the cuts on his arm. There is blood all over his right wrist and left hand.
"I'm sorry" Joe says, errupting into sobs. I put his face in my hands.
"Joe, you have nothing to be sorry for" I say wiping his tears. He shakes his head and I pulled him into my arms.
"I caused all this" he says in between sobs.
"Joe no you didn't" I say, still holding him in my arms.
"Maddie help" he says, breathing heavily and falling to the ground. I kneel down on the ground next to him. He's also kneeling. He puts his chest on his knees and starts to cough. I run his back as he struggles for air. I need to get a doctor but I'm not going to leave his side.
"Joe will you be OK if I go to the other side of the bed and press the nurses button" I ask. He nods and I stand up and quickly run to the button. I press it and run back over to him. I rub his back as he continues to cough.
"Joe it's OK, just breathe" I say trying to coe him. I put one arm around him as he continues to cough.
"Joe you need to lay down" I say and he shakes his head.
"Joe please" I say. He continues to cough, but sits up. I help him and he puts his head in my lap. I hold his hand and run my fingers through his hair. His coughing starts to stop and I don't say anything. His wrist is bleeding a lot. I take off my sweatshirt and lightly wrap his wrist with it. A nurse walks in. She sees us on the ground and runs over and kneels next to us.
"What happened" she asks quickly.
"His friend is in pretty bad condition and when I told him he started crying and flicking his wrist with the rubber band. I was about to take him for a walk and he started to cry and started to have an anxiety attack and he's having one right now" I explain to the nurse.
"Whats his name" She asks.
"Joe" I tell her and she nods.
"Joe can you sit up for me" she asks. He nods and slowly sits up, With my help of course. When he sitting up she looks at him.
"Can you stand up" she asks. He shrugs. I rub his back and he looks at me worriedly.
"do you want me to help" I ask and he nods. I put my hands out and he grabs them. I stand up and slowly pull him to his feet. I put my arm around him and help him to the bed. He sits down on the side. I hold his hand us the nurse writes down what happened. He looks down at his wrist and quickly look away.
"I need help Maddie" he says. A tear runs down his cheek. I wipe it for him.
"I know Joe. I'm going to get you a therapist. If you ever feel upset let me know. I'm here for you" I say and he lightly nods.
"Can you please lay down" the nurse asks Joe. He slowly lays down. The nurse goes to the right side of the bed. She lightly grabs his wrist and unwraps my sweatshirt. She looks at the blood and grabs a wet rag and an arm wrap. She wipes the blood from his arm and bandages it up.
"Maddie go see Zack. I'm OK" he says to me.
"Joe you need me right now, I know you do" I say to him and he shakes his head.
"i'm fine right now. Zack's doing a lot worse than me. Go see him" Joe says. "Joe I don't think he's awake" I say and he squeezes my hand.
"Then be there when he wakes up" he says.
"OK but you have to promise me that the minute you feel something wrong or you feel suicidal you will text me" I say, worried that something will go wrong if I leave.
"I promise" he says, and with that I leave.
THANK THE LORD THAT I FINISHED THAT CHAPTER. IT TOOK FOREVER. IT IS 1911 WORDS OMFG.
I HOPE YOU ENJOYED BECAUSE THAT TOOK ME A LOT OF BLOOD, SWEAT, AND TEARS.
-MaddieIsBae, Signing off.
