SOS- A Jaspar AU

5- Phil Lester

This was it.

Dan Howell was actually sitting next to me on the sofa, head thrown back against the frame and his lips parted slightly. I smiled and stared at him, allowing myself to take in just how much I had missed him since we'd been apart.

I remembered the first day I'd met Dan, he was the new kid in the school. His hobbit hair was fluffed up and crazy in a cute way, and tears stained his cheeks from his mother leaving him alone in an unfarmiliar place. The teacher assigned me to be his buddy, and we became best friends.

Second grade when kids first started picking on me, Dan would be there by my side to tell them off or help clean me up afterwards.

Fifth grade when Dan got his first girlfriend, he broke up with her after she called me gay.

Tenth grade when Dan got a date to Prom, I didn't, so he canceled and stayed home with me for a sleep over.

Eleventh grade when Dan told me he loved me more than a friend for the first time. And I said it back.

Nothing really serious happened between us after that. We kissed a bit, stayed best friends, but then after school ended, Dan went his separate way. He stopped texting, didn't come over much. I tried, I tried so hard to make it work, but he didn't. It broke my heart in two.

~Flashback~

"Hey, Dan!" I ran up to where he sat on a park bench, elated that he had finally wanted to see me again. My smile faded when I saw his solemn expression. "What's wrong?"

He looked down. "I can't do this." He choked out. "I-I can't... we can't see eachother any more."

My heart dropped. "W-What do you mean? Dan, why are you saying these things?" I cried, slapping a hand over my mouth. He shook his head and stood up.

"I-I have to go. I'm sorry, Phi-"

"Don't!" I screamed. "Just stop! You're not sorry for anything o-or you wouldn't be doing this to m-me!" I sobbed. He looked ready to break down, but then, he left. He simply walked away, not turning once. "Dan! Don't walk away from me!" I yelled after him, not bothering to follow. My heart was broken, and this time Dan wasnt going to come fix it.

I woke with a start as someone's hand shook my shoulder. My eyes opened blurrily and I sat up, seeing Dan do the same.

"Ugh, I've got the worst crick in my neck." Dan groaned, rubbing the back of his neck. Wincing, I moved my stiff legs from the position they'd been in for a seemlingly long time. Caspar came into view, picking up the cups that Dan and I had used earlier.

"Morning sleepy heads." He joked, though there was no smile present.

I yawned, standing and stretching. "What time is it?"

"Half five." Caspar said as I approached him from behind. My eyes widened.

"Wow. We've all been passed out." Dan laughed, leaning back against the counter lazily. I nodded.

Caspar put down the dishes he was holding in the sink and turned to face Dan and I. "Were out of food. I'm off to get something for dinner."

"Oh, I have a bit of money for anything-" Dan started, fumbling with his old leather wallet.

"Save it." Caspar have a small smile, grabbing his coat and walking out of the door before I could say anything. I sighed, feeling anxiety set in about being alone with Dan.

Putting a pot of tea on the stove, I pulled out mugs for the both of us and sat down at the kitchen table. We sat in silence for a while, sipping tea and avoiding each other's eyes.

Dan put down his mug noisily and cleared his throat. "Um, Phil? I-I-" He sighed, catching my attention. "One reason I wanted to come here was because... I-I wanted to explain what happened that night."

I went pale. I didn't want to hear what he had to say, even though I needed the answers. "N-no. I don't wanna know, it's just gonna make things worse-"

"I was being blackmailed!" He sighed, face-palming angrily. "It was my own fault, and leaving you there was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I've needed to tell you and get you bad since it happened." He slammed his fist on the table and wiped angrily at his tears. I sat in shocked silence, waiting for him to proceed.

He looked at the table and fidgeted with his jacket. "You remember Allison Tresha?" I nodded, remembering full well one of the main people who made my life a living hell as a child. "That trip we took to the park, the last one before things started falling apart. S-she saw us making out a-and.."

Me eyes widened. "She saw everything?" Dan nodded slowly, and I shivered at the memory. That night was the night that I lost my virginity. I shook my head furiously.

"S-She said that if I didn't break up with you and keep her happy that she would tell people-"

"So?!?" I yelled, furious. "That doesn't matter!"

"She said that she was going to tell your parents, Phil!" He talked back, hiding his sobs behind his hands. "I couldn't let that happen!"

"You could have told me! I would have rather had you stay with me! I love you so much Dan! I don't care of she told the entire world as long as we were together." I sighed, letting tears trail down my face quietly.

"I thought I was protecting you." He said quietly. He looked up into my eyes suddenly, but chocolate pools touching my heart. "Y-you love me?"

I nodded. "Of course. I never stopped. But Dan I can't let myself fall! You don't know how badly it hurt me."

Before I could protest, Dan had practically leapt across the table, slamming his soft lips against mine. Our tears mingled together in a symphony that made me feel complete again for the first time in a long time. I kissed back, standing and turning around so his back was against the cabinets. He picked me up and set me against the counter, not letting out lips part.

He pulled away, smiling huge. "I've been wanting you for 4 years, Phil Lester." Dan leaned in and kissed my earlobe softly, whispering to me. "And this time I'm not letting you go."