Unsent White Carnations (#YourStoryIndia)

Letter V

The name of the story has been changed from The Heartbreak Diaries to Unsent White Carnations! The title will make sense more and more as you read along (at least, I hope so) xx

The first time you had a late night call

5th of April, 2014

Dear ,

The stars were twinkling brightly, marking their own bits and pieces of territory as the huge black sky swallowed them whole.

I tip-toed across the room as my vinyl recorder softly played an enchanting melody in the corner of the room. It was often deep into the night that I felt like having a bowl or two of ice cream while reading a book, completely transporting myself into a different world and sometimes even, play the vinyl recorder that my grandmother once proudly owned.

I sat cross-legged on my sofa, a bowl of chocolate chip in my right hand as my kitten softly nuzzled my feet. She was a real effort. Sure, I fell in love with her the very first time I saw her but pampering her required time. It took only a few moments for the ice cream to disappear like it had never existed. I licked the bowl clean and set it aside as I switched my vinyl recorder off.

My cotton pyjamas rubbed against the rugged floor as I walked towards my bed. My mother had asked me to fold them in fear that I'd trip and hurt myself.

Of course, we all are reckless teenagers. We cover up our mistakes in the saying that mistakes make us learn. But do we, really?

I winced as I felt my left foot twist in pain.

It was a few moments later that I saw your incoming call on my phone.

*

I do not understand.

The human mind is so magnificent. It remembers even the smallest of details of the times that were special to us.

I remember your yawn as you told me that it was past 4 am but you had no intention of going to sleep anytime soon. I remember the way your contagious laugh found its home within the deep reaches of my heart. The smile stuck to my face like never before. I remember the way that you giggled so secretively when you told me about the most embarrassing moment of your life. I remember the way we both expressed that we are sleepy at the same time and then jinxing it. The sleep didn't bother me. I remember the way we both were dying to share things with each other, leaving incidents open ended as the other took over. I remember the way my eyes were crinkled with laughter, despite the heat that I felt(I was too lazy to switch on the air conditioner).

I remember it all.

Even the time that the smile slipped off my face, only to leave a small tear trailing behind.

I grabbed the corner of my duvet, stretching it with all the agony that I had within me. I covered my mouth as I allowed myself to a small piece of sobbing and crying. There are times that you cry, all the while wanting someone else to ask why you are. There are also times when you sob, wishing no one ever would come across you in a condition like that.

But there must never be a time when you wish that the pain ate you alive, leaving only plot holes and the remnants of your body as your soul is tucked within the reaches of heartbreak.