Unsent White Carnations (#YourStoryIndia)

Letter IX

The last time I saw you

24th april 2014

Dear ,

Stray clouds covered the dark sky. It almost felt like evening when it was just the noon.

I sighed as I picked the kitten that you'd given me, the one that I was still in the process of naming and placed it in the basket that it had come in. I hired a taxi and she merely whispered a purr when I stroked her soft snow like fur for one last time.

I realized, that regardless of what plans you have for yourself, or the ones that you've made up in your mind with other, god has a separate plan for you. I never thought that I would be letting go of her – I had dreamt of having a whole lot of memories with her and maybe even, have a future together.

And it wasn't the case with the kitten alone. It was with you as well.

The thought of you leaving my life had occurred to me but not in this way. We were mature, at least I was, and considering that you betrayed me with the most immature way that you could find to end things with me, I didn't trust my own prospect now.

I paid the taxi and settled the basket on the front steps of your porch. Your car was in the driveway so I knew at once that you were home. She almost called out for me, meowed even, but she stopped when she saw the finger on my lips. Throughout the time that we spent together, I was glad that we had forms a connection. A bond with humans is often common but a bond with an animal whom you have no way of communicating with, rare and refreshing even.

I kissed the top of her small ears and walked away. I knew that to move on from you, I had to remove all kinds of things that reminded me of you.

I sighed and started walking when I saw your silhouette in the window beside the front door.

I only smiled and flipped you the bird before continuing my walk back home.

But then again, god makes sure that we have learnt the lesson that was much needed. I saw the bracelet that I had bought for you, lying among the short, freshly-mowed grass.

I made sure that I step over it and crush whatever that's left of it. What could I possibly do with something that should've been/would've been/ must be of emotional value to you?

Realize that it was fun while it lasted and then move on with my life.

*

I opened the front door with my left foot as I let the groceries slide from my hands to the desk beside it. I heard a cat's meow and my breath was almost hitched in my throat when I turned around, only to come across Snowball.

The sky now held a beautiful colored arc, which might also signify the peace of my mind. I smiled and picked her up as I felt her ease away in my palm. I held her close to my chest and shut the front door behind me, not before seeing the shadow that closely resembled your figure disappear just around the corner.

During the next few days, I did everything that was within my power to avoid you and completely remove the remnants of you from my life. The one contact that had come up to the title of favorites now lied away in the block list. The messages that I used to read and reread now didn't exist. The path I usually saw you on, while jogging was not switched back to the one where you couldn't find me. And of course, the heart that once yearned for your voice now sighed if it were ever heard of again.

But three things remained constant in my life- the rainbow, Snowball and the smile on my face.