dear lovely alen, what if you have a mom who you love so much and is so amazing sometimes, but just puts you down other times and sometimes holds you back. i love to sing with all my heart, but she doesn't really want me to sing. she doesn't believe that i can get there on my own and she once told me that she didn't think my voice was for concerts. it's just, every time she does something good, she does another bad thing to mess up the good and i know i'm supposed to love her but sometimes she makes it really hard. i'm muslim so that makes it even harder bc my is so strict with our religion for certain things and she just doesn't let me do anything (i almost didn't even go to my eighth grade dance) and it just really hurts bc it makes me upset and she doesn't care. i know this is probably very hard to give advice on, but thank you for reading it anyway and listening. signed, as
Hi, As!
I know the feeling. My grandmother is the same exact thing, and you know what, we're exactly the same. My grandmother told me the same thing about my singing, and she is nowhere near supportive about it.
I think you should show her that you CAN do it. You have to take a risk, and do something to show her that you can actually be what you want to be. For example, I started to join shows. I even went and joined The Voice and The X factor, though lots of things stopped me, but you know what? I tried. And that's what matters. Let her know that you want to prove her right.
Maybe right now isn't the right timing for you to be on stage, but it doesn't mean you can't work through it. Keep singing, even sing in front of her. She can't possibly stop you from doing what you love, it is what you love, and what she has to do is be supportive. Post youtube videos, and don't edit it. Just sit in front of the camera and sing like no one's watching.
Right now, you have to work by yourself, without your mom. And really, it's not like you're leaving her, right? You're just being what you want to be. If you show her that you're truly passionate about singing, she'll ease up, and she'll understand you soon.
Talk to her about how you feel. I know that you can't disrespect your religion, and you don't have to. There are sacrifices you have to make, and you have to be willing to make them. Just let your mom know that what you dream is what you dream, and maybe even if it isn't meant for you, you still want to try.
Good luck, and I support you.
xo, alen.
