Narcissus

The story takes place in an ancient Greek atmosphere, a dirty little village. A rather ugly looking man (Narcissus) is proposing to the woman he pines for (Aphrodoyle). She rejects him because he is so ugly. Echo is a nymph who can only repeat after other people, but no one can really hear her.

Narcissus:(with a slur) I love you Aphrodoyle, would you marry me?

(Echo: Love you.)

Aphrodoyle: Um...? What?

Narcissus: You know, join me in eternal union?

Aphrodoyle's friend: OMZ, you're literally the grossest thing ever.

Narcissus: (so disappointed) What?

Aphrodoyle: (Jersey dialect) Uuuh, I'm sorry Narci, but your just too ugly for me.

Narcissus:(thinking out loud) Dang it! That's the third time this week! Am I really that ugly?

Aphrodoyle's friend: Yes! You really are.

(Aphrodoyle and her friend exit.)

Narcissus: I just want someone to love me.

(Echo: Love me!)

Narcissus: Aaaw, I'll never get married.

(Echo: Get Married.)

Peasant girl: (talking to a friend while Narcissus eavesdrops) Hey, Chelsicus? Did you hear about that wizard who can change anything into whatever he wants?

Chelsicus: Ha, yeah, he hangs out at the foot of Mount Olympus, right?

Peasant girl: Ya, I think so, I heard he turned a frog into a prince once.

Chelsicus: Wow he sounds amazing, if only he could turn my husband into a Prince.

Peasant Girl: Ha! Yeah... let's go get some shawarma!

Narcissus: Oh my Zeus, this is my chance to finally assume my rightful form of true beauty.

(Echo: *sighs, true beauty.)

(Narcissus looks for the wizard)

(Scene changes. Now he's looking for the wizard)

Narcissus: Hello?! Mr. Wizard who can make me beautiful? Where are yoouu??

(The wizard creeps up behind Narcissus and taps him on the shoulder, hoping to scare him. Narci turns around and the two startle each other.)

Both: AAAH!!

Narcissus: (knocked to the floor) What the heck, man?!

Wizard: Oh, oh, excuse me. You startled me with your ugliness.

(Wizard helps Narci off the ground but wipes his hand off after touching him.)

Narcissus: (frowns, followed by bitter apology) I'm sorry... Anyway, I've come to beg a favor of you. I have been tortured my whole life for being... (Looking for the right word.)

Wizard: Disgusting?

Narcissus: Uuh, noo, for being...

Wizard: A hideous terrifying monster?

Narcissus: I was gonna say for being...

Wizard: Gross? Hard to look at? Scary? Ogre-like? A shameful donkey faced monstrosity-

Narcissus: STOP THAT! I mean... Uuuh, for being... Moderately unattractive..

Wizard: Sure, lets say that

Narcissus: Anyways, I've come to beg you to make me beautiful. So that I can finally marry the girl of my dreams... Aphrodoyle.

(Echo: Marry the girl.)