About Me And You (Editing)

First Letter: Clarification

July 17, 2013

"Can't sleep at night.

I'm thinking of you.

You keep running through my head.

I wanna be more than friends, (yeah)"

  Dear Vincent,

  You know how I feel about you, (at least I think you do), so this is not about me confessing my feelings for you. It's the other way around; this is about getting over you. I guess I'm tired of looking for you and getting nothing while I should be studying for the SATs; after all, it's our senior year. I know we were never together and we had nothing but simple talks, but that didn't stop me from falling for you or whatever this is. Deep down, I know I won't be courageous enough to give you all these letters. I guess I've already made myself fool enough, but since only one person knows, I want to tell about you to someone, so that's why I'm putting these here.

  You might wonder why no one knows. It's simple, I'm a very shy girl and I never felt like I could trust a classmate after a "friend" exposed me to the whole school on seventh grade. Everyone found out about my crush after she showed them a text I send her exposing my feelings towards him. It was supposed to be private, but she didn't understand that. You can imagine how it was when I arrived at school the next day. I denied, of course, but everyone could see through my lies. I had to face him and the worst was that my birthday was a few days later. Yes, they sang about us, that stupid tree song and I was almost ready to die back then.

  My friends from now are nothing like that. I wish I had known them before, but even now I just don't feel comfort enough to reveal my feelings. Trust issues quite yet not resolved. The girl who knows about you is not close to me as them, but it's a story for later.

  Our story, if I can call it that, started a year ago. But, even earlier, I noticed you. You transferred to my school during my sophomore year and it didn't take me long to know you were different from the other boys. Instead of me avoiding eye contact with you like I did with them, you were the one who avoid me and that was what made me noticed you. You were shy and that was so strange to me. You were in my best friend's class, so I got to see you several times. From little to little, I started putting some pieces in the giant puzzle you were and still are. At the time, I was just curious about that shy cute guy. I remember it took me some time to discover you name. It happened when we traveled together to Six Flags with our school in May of 2011. But even then you were just a normal teenager to me. And it carried on like that for the rest of the year.

  Until our junior year. I ended up switching to your class to be close to my friends and again you called my attention right away. It was a funny moment and I suppose you remember it.

  It was my first class with David, our writing teacher, that year, but I knew him since the year before. He was surprised to see me because I wasn't there the week before, but I managed to explain my transference to him. Then he handed a text for us to exam it and asked questions about it. He always calls me by my last name and he did that then. I didn't answer because I was feeling kind of shy in my new classroom, so he asked you. I was surprised that he knew your name (like I said, it was only the second week of class), and even more when you told us that you already had read that text before. But the moment most surprising was next. David asked the class which figurative language was on the text, but no one answered. It was an easy question, I mean, we saw it in-numerous time the year before, but nothing. I eventually answered, ending my silence and shyness, but he didn't hear it. I said it again because he seemed kind of mad, but again nothing. And in the next moment, all I saw was you standing up, pushing your table and kind of screaming the answer. We all stood there frozen by your burst. And then we all laughed. It was kind of funny seeing you like that. Even David was surprised, and he asked you to do it again. You seemed kind of confused and you didn't understand what he said. After asking a second time, you did it and the class was filled with laughter one more time. The look on your face that time was so cute that I knew that I wouldn't forget about you anytime soon.

  I know that all sounds crazy, but intelligent and timid guys were always my type. Being one of the best students in my classroom, it was difficult to find someone who took studying as something serious, especially at that age, so with that first impression and your bashfulness, you were someone worth paying attention to, at least.

  Love,

  Kate

A.N.: Wow, I didn't noticed how much I remembered that day. But I guess it was because he was right in front of me in that class.

The lyrics above is from "More Than Friends" from Cory in the House. It was what inspired me to tell my "friend" about my crush back then.

P.S.: I rewrote this chapter because it was too short.

P.S.2: It can have grammar/spelling errors. Tell me if you find it.

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