About Me And You (Editing)

Sixth Letter: Unexpected

November 16, 2013

''I'm breaking free from these memories

Gotta let it go, just let it go

I've said goodbye, set it all on fire

Gotta let it go, just let it go''

  Vincent,

  You answering me was a real surprise and the circumstances that it involved couldn't be worse, I have to add. It was just the prom, the event I always dreamed of and kind of wanted to be memorable. It was, but for the wrong reasons.

  I'm not going to write here what you send me by Facebook, but I have to say that the words did hurt me. Even knowing you didn't like me, hearing that you have interest in my best friend instead was painful. And the way you put it, gosh, I know I wasn't easy with you during those four weeks, but I was hurt, you didn't do anything after I exposed myself for God Sake! And to top it off, that friend was in the same table in that party and your message made a black cloud hang on us. I couldn't stop thinking why was she was the one chosen by you. I know I couldn't blame her, but it was difficult stay next to her that time. I tried enjoy myself, but my mind kept me remembering how stupid everything was, how everything was a huge cliché. And since it was like that, of course I couldn't sleep until it was seven a.m.

  You might say you had no clue about my feelings, but really, Vincent? Are you that oblivious? Sorry, but I find hard to believe you. I agree with you about one thing though: next year, everything will be vanished. Everybody will go in a different way and I hold strongly in that hope for the future. I need that distance between us. You don't know how relieved I am because in this last month of school we hardly see each other.

  You said you admire me because I'm brave since I wrote to you, adding that you are weak and wouldn't do that, but, Vincent, I'm the weak one. I never told my friends about you and when I did, I choose two girls that I hardly talk to, and when the first one suggested that I should tell you a year ago, I didn't take the chance. It would be so much better if I did that back then, if I was brave enough.

  Deep down, Vincent, I appreciate that you replied me. I needed that for a closure. I put all my child hopes in your person, but I don't even know you. You just seemed the perfect guy for me and because of that feelings were created. But I wouldn't say I'm in love with you or something like that, at least not anymore. So don't worry, I am not that hurt, obviously, like I said before, there was some pain, but it was gone, faster than I thought. I even considered answering you for real, telling you about Millie, trying to help you with her, but I'm still not sure, the future is the reason, not me, okay?

  This can be a goodbye or not, Vincent. I have nothing left to say about us, but if my braveness keeps, I might help you. If not, I'll be just me when we meet and hopefully will be just one more month.

  Wish you all the best.

  Kate

A.N. : He inbox me one week after the last letter while I was at the prom, you can't imagine how I felt. You don't know how I curse the notifications from Facebook in my cellphone. Two weeks later, here I am, writing to him one more time. Maybe I send this or not, I am still kind of confused. The need to write was huge since I didn't tell anyone, so this is the sixth letter (and most likely last) from AMAY. Goodbye.

P.S: This one took me almost 12 hours to write and while I couldn't find the exact words, I came across the song above and aside. It matches with my reality now, so obvious I can't stop playing. Besides, it is beautiful.