Wanna be The One (GxG)

Chapter 30

Chapter 30

Cara's POV

I went home that day.

I felt heavy and lonely. Tired and sad. The only thing maintaining my company were street lamps, I passed by, and occasionally traffic lights speaking in Morse code.

I do regret things. Things, I'm unable to change.

The hot wind blew into my face. The warmth suddenly felt suffocating. I just needed some clean, clear, air to fill my lunges.

The sun was still in the sky with few clouds dancing past it.

A body connected with my shoulder, groaning ant then grunting loudly, and then the person just walked away.

I swallowed an insult, frowning, and puffing, I glared at the boy's back.

Rude.

My feet carried me away. Each step slower than other. Till I reached my house, I completely froze.

My body almost exploded from the energy, but I still felt so tired, so fucking tired. Getting air into my lunges was the hardest task, also the beat of my heart ringing in my ears didn't helped at all.

But I swallowed the saliva, mixing my fear with it. Before I knew it, I took steps forward. First time ever I felt like a guest, thinking, should I ring a bell or should I just turn around and go away.

I didn't wanted to see him. See his chocolate eyes fill with regret; hear his words being just empty promises.

Slowly, as gentle as I could, I walked inside my house, my home, and felt like I was doing something bad while sneaking in.

My house didn't have that warmth air, only icy cold, that clung to my skin, making me shiver from the temperature change. The silence like darkness was occupying the rooms.

He wasn't here.

I shook my head, disappointment walking into my heart, like an old friend greeting it with a hug.

Probably drinking away his pain, his life.

"Whatever." I muttered under my nose.

How can you save someone who doesn't want to be saved?

It's impossible.

I walked to my room, the only place that it's mine, with my things decorating walls and shelves, with my scent.

Almost tearing my pants, I moved them down, jacket immediately followed the path, appearing on the ground.

Diving into black sheets, I sighed, nuzzling my nose into the cold, cold, pillow.

My muscles ached uncomfortably, as I started to relax. I closed my eyes, slowly breathing in and out.

Guilt found the doors of my heart and knocked excited.

I should help him. I have to help him. He's my father.

I want my kid to know their roots. I want my kid to have a crazy grandparent who gives more then he's able to. I want my kid to know my father, his good sides. Only good sides.

I want my kid to have what I couldn't and more.

To have stupid cousins, annoying brats you couldn't imagine a world. Uncles and aunts, who tells embarrassing stories of your past. Grandparents who spoil you. To have a group of crazy people- loving you, protecting you, telling you how stupid you are.

A family that helps.

Maybe I should try first, meet my own crazy relatives. Maybe they could help. Maybe I wouldn't be the only one against my father's problem. Maybe I'm not supposed to be the only one helping him.