Dear Louis -_Larry Stylinson Mini Fic_-

September 6th

Dear Louis,

Today someone asked me what my biggest secret was.

It was at an interview. You were there, of course.

So I looked up and I said real slow, like you when you say something reluctantly, and I said 'My biggest secret... my biggest secret would have to be when I said Louis broke Zayn's mirror but really it was me."

I lied.

My biggest secret is loving you. 

See, I wanted to tell you everything about me. I wanted you to know me. I wanted to be the one you turned to for help. I wanted to tell you all of my secrets.

But then you became one.

And I just don't know anymore.

What I'm hiding could change everything. Our friendship, you and Eleanor's relationship, our career, the band, everything.

I don't want to be responisible for that.

But I don't know how long I can do this for. How long I can watch you love her, and feel myself fall deeper and deeper into this hole, this darkness. It hurts to look at you, Lou.

I want to die, sometimes.

I try to hold on. I try to reassure myself. But I can't help but think, would you even notice? Would you even notice that much if I left? Eleanor would comfort you. I think you would be okay.

The only things that are keeping me here is possibly making you unhappy. I couldn't do that. I can't.

That, and because I have hope that you'll love me back someday. This hope is so strange. It's endless, fierce, irrational.

Sort of like my love for you.

I think it would take hardly anything to push me over this fragile edge I'm on, and I can't save myself if I tried.

Please, Louis. Don't hurt me. I don't think I'll live through it.

Love always,

Your Haz