Whatever Happens, Happens [A Jilly Fanfiction]

September 25th

James had dragged Lily down to the actual pitch under the argument that the grass was a lot more comfortable than the wood benches they had been sitting on, and she'd reluctantly let herself go down. It actually ended up being a good idea, it wasn't windy at all down there and the sun warmed them up.

James laid on the grass, his head on his bag and his back on the floor. He had his eyes closed, sleeping, for all Lily could tell. James really had made her feel better, forget about Severus, as long as he was talking, Lily felt fine. But the conversation had eventually died down and there was nothing he could have done about it.

Sitting in the silence, even if right next to James, Lily felt like she had the weight of the world on her shoulders. There was nothing she could do to distract herself, and eventually, the tears came back to blur her vision. She allowed herself to cry, as quietly as she could, she wasn't sobbing, or choking, no, it was just tears, of sadness and anger. 

Without thinking about it, she reached out and played with the tips of James' messy hair absentmindedly. If he'd been asleep, James didn't give her any sign of waking up. At least not that she's noticed, but the boy couldn't help but curve the ends of his mouth upwards.

Eventually, Lily let go of his hair and let out a choked sob. James opened his eyes and sat up, frowning at her.

"Lily..." He almost pleaded, but she shook her head.

"I'm fine." She managed to let out, "I just..." She looked at him, "Can I get a hug?"

James let out a surprised gasp, but opened his arms for her. She crawled into them and sat between his legs, her right side against his chest. James held her close to him. 

"As many as you want." He half whispered before kissing her head. 

"I bet you don't want to ask me out right now." She chuckled between sobs. 

James placed his hand on her cheek and turned her face so he could look at it, then wiping her tears away with his thumb.

"I've never wanted to ask you out more than I do right now." He told her honestly. Lily managed so smile softly at him.

"You don't have to say that." She shook her head. "You've said enough to make me feel better."

"Lily..." He sighed and dropped his hands. "When will you understand that I don't just say these things to make you feel better? I say them because they're true." Lily looked away from him. "I don't want to ask you out because I feel for you. I mean, I do feel for you but that's not why I want to ask you out. I want to ask you out because I want to make you happy. Snape had his chance and wasted it. I would never." His voice hardened a little as he spoke of Severus, but when Lily looked back at him, his eyes were soft still.

"James, I-"

"Don't worry, Lils, I'm not asking you out right now. It'd be a really jerk move if I tried to get you when you're like this." He smiled sadly at her. "If only you'd have let me curse the bloody hell out of that git when I had the chance." Lily shot him a harsh look, but he kept going. "Or if I'd let Remus-"

"-James!"

"What? I'm kidding!" He glared at him. "I am, I swear. I don't regret saving him. No matter how much I don't like him, I don't want Snape dead." Lily let her head fall forward, her hair making a curtain around her, and pressed her head to his chest.

"I can't believe I'm skipping class with James Potter. That's so mainstream. I feel cheap." She felt rather than heard him chuckle.

"Lily Evans. You are everything but cheap and mainstream."

--------------------------

This one's really late because I'm trash at keeping my word... Sorry!!

Don't forget to vote and comment! Let me know what your thoughts are so far!