(a/n: THIS IS SO LAME. OMG HI GUYS. i used the word 'pursuing' too much in this chapter hahaha.)
10.
"Kyungsoo, this is Kim Jongin, Your brother."
Brother.
Kim Jongin is my brother? My bed partner is my brother?
"How did this happen?" I muttered. I looked at him wide eyes. We looked at each other with full of questions in my head. I saw my friends shaking their heads in my peripheral view. I'm confused right now.
He's my brother, my dongsaeng. We are biologically related. I'm his other one but it turns out he's my brother. I had sex with my brother, not just sex, but an affair. This is a sin, this is Incest.
"Kyungsoo-ah! I can't believe you're my brother-in-law! Small world eh?" Eunji said and ran over me then hugged me.
"Yeah, small world." I said not removing my eyes off of Jongin who's standing beside my mom, still looking at me.
"Jongin, go. Shake hands with your brother." Dad said and gestured Jongin to come near me.
"No need Pa, I already know him." He said and scratched his nape. He sat down on one of the chairs and Eunji sat beside her, I saw him grabbed her waist and glanced on me.
"Can you like excuse us for a minute?"Suho asked. My parents nodded, he held my hand and dragged me outside.
As soon as we stepped to our garden, he let go of my hand and sighed. I looked at him; he looks upset at the same time he looks like he wants to say something. He brushed his hands on his face and he sighed once again, then he met my eyes and hugged me. So damn tight, to the point where I can't even breathe. My eyes got teary, I sniffed a little, trying so hard not to let go of loud sobs.
"Come on Kyungsoo, let it out." Suho whispered, and as if on cue. I cried, I cried hard on his chest and hugged him. This is so not me.
As I cry, I couldn't stop thinking of the things that happened today. Suho's confession, my Mom giving me the company, my friends telling me they support me, my dad barging in our lives once again, and of course Jongin which happens to be my brother. But of course, the most surprising one is him being my brother, why?
I cried for who knows how long, letting out all the shits I've experienced today and for the past years. I only stopped when my head started to hurt because of too much crying, Suho guided me to one of the bench swings on our garden, he handed me a handkerchief and I accepted it while smiling.
He just keeps on staring at me and as soon as I caught him, he cupped my face and wiped my tears and kissed my eyes gently.
"I really hate it when you cry." He said still not removing his stares on me. I wonder what he is thinking right now.
"You're still the same." I said trying my best to smile.
"Of course, you're the only one who changed." He guided my head on his shoulder.
"Did I made you cry like that?" I laughed at what he said.
"I didn't. Am I?" He asked.
"I knew it, it's because I'm the only one who can love you truly." He said while wiggling his eyebrows. I slapped him gently on his arm and laughed a little.
We stayed quiet for minutes, it's really dark here outside and the sky is really wonderful. I looked up and saw a bunch of stars, a lot of memories came back once again.
"Suho-ssi." I called him, he just hmm-ed.
"Do you want to know the real reason why I left you?" I asked. I felt him stiffened.
"No. Why?" He answered right away.
"Just answer me, do you want to know the truth?" I asked once again.
"I just answered you. Why are you bringing that up?" He asked. I just shrugged; he held my hand and squeezed it.
"Because you deserve to know." I muttered.
"You know, Kyungsoo. Some things are better left unsaid."
"But don't you think it's so unfair that I didn't tell you the real reason?" I asked. With a voice almost cracking.
"Why? So that I will have a reason to stay away from you? I told you, I don't want to know! Knowing nothing about that is much better Kyungsoo. Look, I love you and I'm serious about what I said that I don't care about anything anymore. Please Kyungsoo, just stop this. I don't want to know. Okay?" I sighed. Why does he have to be so nice?
I wonder what is going on inside his head right now. I mean, he knows Jongin was the one who snatched me away from him when we were at the bar. He even mentioned that he doesn't care if I'm in love with him, he just wanted to pursue me.
"I'm thinking you were about to ask something once again?" He said. I nodded.
"Don't you want to ask me why am I crying because of my brother?"
"Why would I ask if I already know everything?" He said and grabbed my hand and started playing with my fingers.
"I know you fell in love with him; I know you're his other one" He added. I can't believe this, he knows yet he still wants to be with me.
"Alright, you know. But why are you still pursuing me? Don't you think I don't deserve you? I don't deserve anyone, Suho. I'm miserable, you know that? I'm nothing compared to anybody. I'm a home wrecker, a bed warmer, and most of all I'm my brother's other one!" I shouted. Breathing heavily and I slowly laughed. I just find it funny that nothing goes right anymore.
"Don't you get it Kyung? Why can't you get it? I just told you, I don't care anymore, okay? I'm pursuing you because I love you, and I want you." He stood up leveling my face. And he hugged me. Goddamn it why do you have to be this kind and perfect.
"Let me love you kyungsoo, don't ask anymore. Just let me, okay? I'm willing to be miserable with you if you think you're miserable. I will be there for everything, may it be your darkest moments, and I will be here for you. I will never leave you." He said and kissed my forehead.
The moment he kissed my forehead that's when it hit me, I need a new life, I need to be a new person, a better person to be exact. I don't want to be like this anymore, the depressed bed-warmer who is in love with his brother. I will do my best to forget everything, but of course with the help of Suho. I will move on.
"Suho, make me forget all the pain. Please?" I asked him. With eyes pleading.
And with that, he kissed me. I don't care about anything anymore. I just wanted to forget.
