12.
"I missed you, Very Much."
I was taken aback by Jongin's hugs and kisses. I was lost at words to the point that I forgot that I went here to give him closure. What the fuck is running on his head? Hasn't he realized everything yet?
I tried pushing him, muttering few 'let me go's but he just wouldn't budge. He kissed me again torridly, I didn't respond and I can feel my lips almost bleeding. He went to my neck and sucked every inch of it, when I felt him holding the hem of my shirt, I stopped him. I held his hands and looked at him blankly.
"What?" He asked and stared at me.
I didn't answer him. Few seconds have passed, he raised my chin and was about to kiss me once again but I turned away.
"WHAT?" He shouted. I couldn't answer him, why does everything about him makes me weak?
"What Kyungsoo? Aren't you going to spread your legs for me today?" I turned my gaze to him, is that the reason he called me here?
He went closer to me, making my heart jump numerous times out of my rib cage.
"Aren't you my bed warmer, why are you resisting slut?" He whispered, and as if on cue, my tears started falling down. I couldn't stop myself from punching him on his chest.
"I hate you Kai. I fucking hate you." I muttered almost out of breath. "I hate the way you look at me, I hate everything about you, and I wish you die"
I felt my legs turning into jelly, soon enough I am on my knees, crying my heart out. Here goes my pathetic side once again, when will this ever stop? It would've been nice if I'm crying because I am leaving him but this one hurts more, me hearing those words from him.
Slut.
Bed Warmer.
What do I expect from him? I spoiled him giving everything he needs and wants, and with that I don't think I have the right to complain. I deserve those words; I really am a slut and a bed warmer.
It's really funny because here I am thinking at the back of my mind that I will be able to bid him my goodbye without looking pathetic but I guess I was wrong. I thought I am already strong enough to not break down in front of him. I am such a weakling.
I stood up and wiped the tears on my face, I went to the door and was about to open it when he spoke.
"She's cheating on me Kyung." He muttered. I turned my gaze to him and I saw him clenching his fists, I couldn't read him.
"She's f*cking cheating on me for years now, and I can't believe I am hurting."
And there I saw him, tears rolling down his cheeks. I couldn't believe this, the toughest and emotionless man I know is crying in front of me. He must love her very much, that it made him look like this.
I can hear his soft sobs, I went beside him and I hugged him. He didn't moved even a bit but I can feel his ragged breathing. I couldn't help but to feel guilty because I am thinking of leaving him. He needs me right now, I shouldn't leave him right? I should do this as a brother.
I guided him to my bedroom and made him lie on my bed; I tucked him under the blanket. This might sound ridiculous but I am going to babysit him until he's doing fine. I was about to leave to make some food for us when he gripped my hand.
"Stay with me. Even just for now." I looked at him; eyes looking weary and tired, I nodded. As if I have a choice. I sat beside the bed and just watched him slowly drifting into his sleep. I couldn't help but to admire the beautiful creature lying on my bed.
I touched his face; Kai is the most handsome person I have ever seen. And how lucky I am to be this close to him, how lucky I am that I get to taste every piece of him.
But of course how unlucky I am that he's my brother.
I pity him, I pity the both of us.
I hate that we're both victims of this stupid love. I hate that my feelings for Jongin is forbidden. If love is the source of happiness for all people then why are we suffering? If love is the answer to our problems then why should we go through hell before actually experiencing the actual contentment? How freaking ironic that Jongin and I keep on thinking that we're hurting Eunji unconsciously yet she is the first one hurting his husband.
I lied down beside him and tucked myself under the blanket. I hugged Kai, I will be let myself be selfish even just for now. For once, I want to do what I want not what is right.
I kissed Kai's forehead and hugged him tighter, admiring the manly scent that I missed. I wish this will last forever.
"I don't care about what they say anymore. I won't leave you." I whispered and drifted to sleep.
