Hiiiiiiii :)!this is my first story, it probably wont be very good but i hope you like it!!!
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Jessica's POV
"I know these scars will bleed. I remember thinking, the world would be better off without me. It sucks because I was getting better but not im not. The worst part is being unhappy, and alive is all I got. And if it kills me tonight, im ready to die. Just know that I never planned on saying goodbye. Because i will see you up above, where I will finally forgive myself and learn how to love. And all of my feelings are hidden behind my smile, because for a moment I forgot what its like to love yourself for a while. People say your suicidal and your still here, Yeah with the constant overdosing of pills and getting drunk from beer. People wonder why we say Im okay, im fine. Its because we're scarred you'll leave us if you've seen we're out of line. They tell you to be yourself and its okay but in the end you regret ever doing it and you end up having to pay. I see beauty in everything but me. Im falling down and im falling hard, I have no chance because no one seems to have the key. And i want to be strong, I really do, but nothing seems to be working and i don't know whats wrong. If you want to call me weak go ahead but you wouldn't say that after finding me hung dead. It sound so simple, but in reality its so hard, people think whats going to save me is a pathetic get-well card. You can say that you care and you'll always be there, but iv heard it before and its just not fair. Tell me again that its all in my head, but theirs a reason im dead. Not physically, but probably soon. You never know what life has planned, we have accepted it through society and its become immune. Don't even tell me its not worth it, don't even try. There's nothing you can say that would change the fact that I want to die. So let these words fade and disappear, but let this be like a switch blade and make life more crystal clear. Its not a game, it never will be. Its killing mostly everyone, why cant you guys see. Because i know what it like and Its hit me hard and its slowly drowning me. Who am I kidding? This wont change anything. I mean, lets be real, Its written by a nobody.......... " I finish writing in my journal.
Wow. I'm pathetic. I shake my head, crumbling the piece of paper And throwing it in my trash can next to my bed" Jessica, get your ass down here. Now!" My moms voice raged. I groaned, walking slowly downstairs, not knowing what shes planning on making me do. I wandered into the living room as I watched her on the couch with about 5 beer bottles on the floor. " yeah?" I asked, standing my ground. "Shut the hell up you slut. W-wwwere out of, of beer. Go buy more you pig!" She slurred. I thought for a moment. " I can't. I'm 18 remember." I said in an obvious tone. "Then youuuuu better find a way orrr you know what, what that means." She slurred again. I turned around walking upstairs to get my jacket, rolling my eyes. "Great." I mumbled walking out of the door.
Just great....
YOU ARE READING
I hate you (Harry styles fan-fiction) TRIGGER WARNING
Fanfiction"I hate you!" I scream in his face with rage and tears falling down my face. "Don't worry. I mean, it's not like your one of a kind. I mean everyone fucking hates me. So thanks for reminding me"....... Harry - Harry styles Jessica - Miranda kerr
