HE WAS ONCE.. A NERD

Chapter 4- Its gonna go all the way down

I've been having writer's block for a few days, I just stared at that empty screen not knowing what to write. This morning, before I went to school I was standing in the shower, staring at the water running down when suddenly, Bam! My mind finally knew what to write. Its amazing how long showers help you, hahahhaaha. Okay another chapter for you guys. Hope you enjoy.

"I wanna be drunk when I wake up, on the right side of the wrong bed"

I suddenly heard my ringtone (Drunk by:Ed Sheeran) from my nightstand near my bed, I groggily tried to reach for it hearing it clutter, too lazy to even open my eyes. After a few minutes  when I was finally able to get a hold of it, my annoying caller apparently got tired of waiting for me to pick up, so ended up ending the call causing my phone to stop ringing.

I rolled back, opening my eyes and stared at the ceiling for a few minutes, realizing how my ringtone relates much to my life right now. I've never felt so lonely, and I felt like there was this deep void in my chest that I wanted to fill.
I picked my phone up checking who called realizing it was Stacy. I decided to send her a text message.

"Sorry wasn't able to pick it up, just woke up x. I wasn't able to call you yesterday got a little busy call you later xoxo"

After I sent her the texts I was scrolling through my messages realizing it were just texts from Stacy, I felt sad. I miss all those Good Morning texts from Luke, those silly morning selfies he would send me and those annoying videos and voice messages he would send me about how a lazy Ass I can be sometimes and I should wake up and that he was too excited to see me and that he can't wait.

But most of all, I miss those days at home when he would come early at our house bringing breakfast not just for me, but for my whole family because he knows that my mom works over time on Fridays and Saturdays and that she'll be too tired to cook for us, and that he can't trust my dad and I in making breakfast cause we might end up burning our house down. He was perfect, too perfect In my eyes, I guess. He was my most serious boyfriend, he was the one who Lasted and was actually able to meet my family, he was there for me always, he was there for me when I had no one else talk to when Stacy and I had misunderstandings or when My parents had a fight with me he was there and it hurts how you can't talk to the one person you want to talk about how you feel right now, but you just can't cause he is the same person who caused you all this pain, sadness, emptiness and misery. I guess this is my karma for hurting Ivan long before, I can feel it, this is what I get for breaking someone's heart.

I remembered our conversation last night, and after a few weeks I realized that I heard his voice again last night and because of my anger I didn't realize how I missed hearing his voice, how I forgot how sweet and deep it sounded. I thought I was stronger when I pushed him away last night  and how My knees didn't go weak just from hearing his voice again and how many times I tried to call and text him when I got drunk after Our break up but I never received a reply, he never answered me, not even a voice message, it was just ... Last night when I finally heard him again.

Have you ever felt it that you thought you were okay? And you thought that everything was fine because you started to smile again, laugh again, you already tried to talk to everyone and not just stay in your room whole day sucking up your loneliness? Then suddenly, one morning  you just wake up to this deep deep emptiness, that you were back to square one and that you have to try and drag your body again to function because you almost felt like you had no reason to move your ass anymore and you had no reason to wake up cause the one person you got so used to be with is not part of your life anymore cause he had the guts to be the reason behind your sleepless nights and why you cry yourself to sleep. What's wrong with exes? They always make you feel they still want you when you are on the process of Staying away from them and when you're trying to be strong for yourself and you finally have the guts to move on and smile. As I was about to cry, I heard a loud Ding! From my phone so I reached out and read Stacy's reply;