Divination

6 Cry Baby

 My panic resurfaces when I notice Hector in the parking lot and I silently send out a prayer that he won't glance over in my direction. I loose all hope of being left alone when he catches me staring at him and for a brief moment our eyes lock, causing my anxiety to intensify. Great job, I think chastising myself for catching Hector's attention. I plead in my mind for him to stay on the other side of the parking lot. I am so not in the mood for mister heroic to think he needs to comfort a damsel in distress.

With the pattern the day is forming ,it is inevitable that Hector would saunter over to my car despite my desperate pleas to myself. I go back to looking in the mirror as I try to pretend that I don't notice him approaching. I seriously don't want him to think I sought out his attention. I guess my facade went a little too well because I nearly jump out of my skin when he gently rapped on my window, startling me. After all that has happened today I don't blame myself for being a little jumpy. Now that he is over here I don't want to be rude, so I cracked my window a couple of inches.

Hector gives me a gentle smile when he says to me, "Hey A, I was just wondering if you are alright." His voice was sincere, but I am not used to confiding in people.

So I lied and told him, "Yeah, I'm fine." Even though it is obvious that something is wrong. My tissue littered car is a dead give away along with my puffed up face. Why did I think no one would notice that I've been crying? I suffer from an extreme case of chronic weeping ugliness . My face turns red, as does my nose, whose condition is not improved with me constantly wiping rough tissues across it. I snot when I cry, a lot.

" Would you mind it if I come in and talk to you for a minute?" I do mind. I prefer to be left alone. I hold my tongue and keep my closed off mind to myself.

" Fine" I reluctantly tell Hector. It makes it hard for me to refuse someone who is clearly trying to help. He slowly walks to the passenger side and opens the door to join me in my rustic car.

Before Hector gets a chance to talk, I hand crank my window to it's original position in order to have some semblance of privacy." What's going on Assie? Don't tell me you're fine. You're lying." I am genuinely touched by his concern and also glad he didn't mention my appearance.

Hector's demeanor shocked me. It was much different from the guy who seemed so aloof with only one thing on his mind. I never expected him to bother with someone's feelings, let alone mine when we've never had a proper conversation. I should know by now that looks can be deceiving. I'm starting to think my first impression was wrong.

" I'll be alright. I just thought moving away from my parents would allow me to build the life I have always wanted and instead I sit in my apartment every day, go to work and that's it." Hector patiently listens to my petty problems.

"I've been at this job for months now and you would think I'd have more than just my elderly neighbor as a friend. She's great and all but how pathetic do you have to be to not have any friends who aren't geriatric?" I didn't realize I was upset about more than just the teller until it spilled out of my mouth.

I have no idea why I suddenly caught a case of verbal diarrhea, but all of my worries just decided now was the best time to come pouring out of my mouth. This is what happens when I keep everything to myself for so long. There is no way I can stay silent without exploding my word shrapnel on anyone with a willing ear. I'm not sure why Hector wanted to listen, but I am so relieved he did.

" You have only been here a few months. I wouldn't expect you to have so many friends, so stop giving yourself a hard time. You are great at your job and everyone at the office thinks you're sweet. If you speak up a little more I'm know you will make friends so easily." I hate talking to new people, which is the exact thing holding me back. I get so anxious and worried about saying something stupid. The nervousness I feel makes me want to just keep to myself.