Diary of a Non-Binary

Part Ten

*Walking after school with my boyfriend and another friend*

"So you're a guy then?" Our other friend asked me.

"Yeah, you could say that."

"So that would make you two gay, right?"

*Scrolling, found a thing*

Women are women, regardless of sex.

And men are men in the same respects

You can be both, or a mix of the two, or you can be neither

If that's what suits you.

But people are people whatever their parts.

Because what really matters is inside of our hearts.

Dysphoria-fueled breakdowns are the worst. Especially when you have to stop crying after two minutes and look like nothing happened to everyone else. The only one I'll let see me during these is my boyfriend. I can't trust anyone else, even my family. I have to put on this mask of happiness after a breakdown just so people won't ask questions. I want people to ask questions. I want them to want to help me and be able to. But at the same time, I know none of my friends will understand. I know they'll just think that I have a weird problem, help for maybe a day, and just think it's all better afterward, even though it's not.

Having someone call you by the correct pronouns without messing up is like getting a birthday present. It always seems kind of unexpected, but it sounds so great to your ears and you just don't want them to stop saying that word. But then you'll remember that it's not the normal word people use, and you'll just continue to be misgendered after that conversation is over.

    Idon't understand why some people insist on calling me a girl no matter what Itell them I want to be called. I mean,yeah, I get that you don't agree with trans* people. I'm not telling you thatyou absolutely have to call me a guy no matter what, even though that's stillwhat I want. What I don't understand is how it affects you personally. In whatworld will calling someone what they want considered painful to you. Even ifyou don't agree with it, do that on your own.