The Girl With The Yellow Umbrella

e i g h t

March 23rd, 2015
Jason

Ever had that feeling like your whole life was flashing right before you? Like you no longer had control of your own life, your destiny, and you could see your life span out right in front of you.

This is how mine went:

I'm an old man with an old guy and a baby that probably doesn't appreciate me. I live my whole life wondering what if and probably cheating on Steve by going "out of town" while Steve becomes depressed. He starts to have a drinking problem and I keep cheating on him with all different types of people. Then our child is going to grow up and is going to blame his or her whole life and issues on us. Then I finally die, but no one's going to my funeral and Steve feels really bad at first but realizes how much better off he is without me.

The end.

That really sucked. I'm such a pessimist, sometimes all it does is make me have unreasonable anxiety. Like now, I'm hyperventilating and I feel like an elephant is pressed down my chest while sitting in the hospital waiting room with Steve.

He doesn't notice, of course, because he's too busy reading baby catalogs and talking to nurses about having a kid friendly home. I, on the other hand, am clutched onto my chair and breathing heavily. This weird old man is sitting next to me and is giving me the looks like I was crazy.

But, I'm not. I'm just...I'm having a kid without even being ready for it. It never really clicked in my mind till now. I have to be responsible for another human being's life. I know I'll mess up, I just know I am.

I had a pet hamster when I was fifteen and guess what happened, it fucking died because I got tired of feeding the damn rodent.

How the hell am I supposed to feed a baby?!

"Jason!" Steve shouted out as he came out of a hallway. I didn't even notice him leaving, maybe because I was too busy having a panic attack or something.

"Mm?" I moaned out because at this point, I don't even want to utter out words.

"So, I was just with Wesley in her appointment and...she's pregnant! Three weeks," he smiled excitedly. I hadn't seen him this happy before ever which made me happy. But he had just confirmed my greatest fear, I'm having a god damn baby.

"So? Isn't this just amazing! This is everything we've ever wanted."

"Uh, yeah," I muttered and looked down to my shoes. I couldn't even look him in the eyes because then I'd probably hyperventilate again.

"Well, I'm heading to the pamphlets. Try to show your emotions a bit more mister," Steve laughed and walked away from the waiting room.

Without having much control of my body, I got off my seat and strolled down the hallway Steve came out of a few minutes ago. When I was finally in front of the door, I opened it and was shocked to see the scene that was unfolding in front of me.

Wesley was by herself in the room, sitting on one of those hospital beds and there were these metal thingys that the women have to put each leg on so that the doctor would be able to see their vaģina. That wasn't the worst part but I just thought that was pretty gross. She was sitting there, but her hands were covering her face as she was crying.

Sobbing noises were heard around the room and she sniffled too. I didn't know I could ever feel this bad about someone crying. But all I could do was stand there, waiting for her to finally notice that I was in the room too.

As she was wiping her face with the back of her hand, she saw me. Her big brown eyes bulged and she suddenly jumped out of the bed.  Her curly brunette hair bouncing with her while her lips were parted. Tear stains all over her cheeks while we just stood there.

Now, this is what I call awkward.

"Hey, are you okay?" I finally managed to say.

What else was I supposed to say?

Are you on your period?

Wait, she's pregnant. Never mind.

"Oh, yeah, I'm fine. I'm just nervous is all," she whispered and kept looking at what my next move was.

"Nervous? Why would you be nervous?"

Wesley chuckled to herself before saying, "Well I'm pregnant so that's a big reason right there. And this baby isn't really mine."

"Are you not okay with that? If you aren't, you shouldn't have done this. We don't need any dram-" But I was cut off.

"No! I do want this. I'm going to do this. But I do feel nervous, I think that's pretty natural." She started to figet with her fingers and her eyes seemed to gaze anywhere else but mine.

"Oh...okay," I scratched the back of my head awkwardly and rolled my eyes. She wasn't telling the truth, that was obvious but who the hell am I to know what she's going through? I'm not a woman, I don't ever have to carry a baby inside of me for nine months and then leave it to other people.

"Do you think I'm lying?" she asked suddenly. I could feel the hurt she felt from even the possibilty that I thought she was lying.

"Uh, no. Not at all," I said sarcastically and went to lie down on the hospital bed nonchalantly.

"Are you calling me a liar?" she gasped and awaited for my answer.

Well duh, I am. If that wasn't obvious.

"I ain't calling you a truther!"I yelled and laughed at my silly reference. At first, she seemed to be confused and looked at me as if I was crazy. But soon enough, a beautiful smile spread across her face and a burst of laugher left her lips.

"Oh, I get it," she kept laughing at my somewhat stupid joke.

"I know, I'm hilarious. It comes with this package. I'm pretty hot, you know," I commented while putting each of my legs on the metal thingys. God, that felt horrible.

"Yeah, you sure look hot sitting like that Jason. You're already making me all hot and bothered." She giggled to herself as she watched me feel uncomfortable on the bed.

"Fùck, I feel like my balls are getting ripped. I knew I shouldn't have worn skinny jeans," I winced and tried to battle with the bed. It was like I was in a mini fight with it, trying to get out of this position but for some reason I couldn't.

And in that very moment, I heard her laugh once more. So joyous and so happily. Even her eyes began to water. But it wasn't the kind of tears that you let out when you find out your grandma died or when your relationship crumbles. It was the kind of tears that were let out in the happiest occasions, when you find someone and they say something that's just really really funny.

"Is that what you were planning all along? To make me feel better?", Wesley finally said after her mini laugher stroke was over.

"Maybe. Maybe not," I smirked and finally jumped off the seat. Strolling to the door, I opened it and gave her a wink before getting out.

And for some unknown reason, I didn't feel so bad anymore. The elephant on my chest was gone.