The Girl With The Yellow Umbrella

e l e v e n

May 25th, 2006
Wesley

The sound of showers were overheard as girls in gym shorts and uniform shirts giggled and gossiped. Lockers opening and closing, taking off their clothes, applying necessary makeup to show this allusion that they really do look like that.

My headphones were on my ears as I listened to my Mp3, jamming out to the new Britney Spears song. I was currently putting on my sweater when one of my friends rushed towards me.

"Wesley, hey! Wanna take a pic with me? I'm trying to fill up my photo album," she cheered excitedly. Now that I think about it, I wouldn't call her a friend. More of a girl who talks to everyone because she really is that nice.

Just as we were about to take a picture of us smiling in a very occupied locker room, I heard the very loud whispers of two other girls behind us.

"Is she actually taking a picture?"

"She probably won't even be seen in it because she's so black."

"You're so right! She's too dark to show in the pictures."

"She's too dark for anything to be honest."

I stared in complete and utter shock. My mouth hanging open as if someone was holding it in place like that, my hands shaking at just how disgusting they sounded.

"Excuse me?" I said but they knew very well that they were not excused.

"Better put some sunscreen on before you get out! Don't want to be getting any blacker now, do we?", they both giggled in unison and somehow other girls heard and laughed too. Laughing at me, straight to my face. Like they had nothing to be ashamed of.

Was blacker even a word?

Before the camera could even take a picture of us, I quickly took my belongings and ran off. Exiting the locker room and not looking back. I didn't even notice I was crying until I felt hot tears sting my cheeks and my breathing going at a rapid pace. I just kept running and running and running and running.

Why did those words hurt me so much?

Why couldn't I be comfortable in my own skin?

Why did those girls say that?

Am I being over dramatic?

All these questions seemed to swarm in my head but I couldn't find an answer. There was no asnwer. I am who I am and I can't change that and I will forever be burdened with it.

Finally, I collapsed in the middle of a hallway. No one was walking so I just stayed on the floor. Maybe just to make myself feel better or calm down. Maybe to grasp the world or myself. Maybe to stop feeling so dizzy, just to stay still.

I broke down, my knees hugged against me as I cried my eyes out. But no one was there to comfort me, to hold me, to tell me they were all wrong, to tell me I was beautiful the way I am. No teachers passing by, no friends in my stupid private school, no boy that actually likes me, no family to support me no matter what. I had no one.

And I guess that's what life is, facing things all on your own.