Single Girl, Interrupted

I Miss You, Not

Today is one of those days where I’ve decided that I am fine without texting Larenzo. In other words, I will not be initiating another conversation with “Hey mister,” “I miss you,” or any other futile attempt at getting his attention. I’ve done so for the past month, and I anticipate the day he validates me by being the first to make contact. He has feelings too, and it would be nice-no, fair if he expressed them, good, bad, or indifferent. I will not accept him being naturally ‘reserved’ as an excuse.

We met while I was working. Him and his 4 boys were on holiday from London. Larenzo exudes the kind of sex appeal that makes a girl want to drink his bath water, become his love slave, and all other things ridiculous. He stands 6’1’’, equipped with a body of a Greek God, dressed up in smooth, even-toned almond brown skin, and has an accent any American girl would love. He reminds me of Darius Lovehall of the classic black film, ‘Love Jones.’ The only difference is he is not the one doing the pursuing, for it is I.

A couple of days ago I messaged him, “I miss you :-)” and his response was not soothing at all! “Oooh Char. Don’t worry, I’ll be back soon and we can hang out.” Anytime ‘I miss you’ is expressed a mirrored response is what’s expected, period. Anything other than that leaves too much room for interpretation, and my interpretation is this is just something for him to do. He talks a good game, but is he really interested in coming back to America to come see me? Or could he just be much more patient than I am?

He’s 23 years young, very good looking is an understatement, and he’s not actively looking for a relationship, so “Oooh Char” could be a reasonable response. It doesn’t validate my feelings, which would prevent leading me on, and “Don’t worry, I’ll be back soon…” says he enjoys my company. Either it makes sense, or I’m overanalyzing minor details like most women do. There’s a dim glimmer of hope, but hope nonetheless. I just have to put my poker face on and play my cards right. This round I’m out. I won’t be showing my hand or calling his bluff.

Maybe reading articles online about dating British men isn’t helping me. I’m often coming across stories saying British men are afraid of rejection, because women across the pond aren’t as forward as American girls in regard to our feelings. Larenzo is more lax, and isn’t as boisterous about showering me with compliments as men are in the U.S. It’s different, but sometimes a girl needs to hear positive affirmations from her muse. Using cultural differences as justification for the things I’m unsure about with Larenzo is already tiring. Yes, we are different culturally, but we aren’t from separate universes.