Single Girl, Interrupted

Cat and Mouse

The reason that I even feel like I’m participating in a game of cat and mouse is because I know that there’s more. Larenzo has shown on numerous occasions a side of his personality that I’m drawn to. Unfortunately, because texting is our only form of communication on top of an 8 hour time difference, I’ve only been able to get bits and pieces of it here and there. Texting just won’t do. This girl needs visuals and audio, and those options are very much available, but must I be the one to always suggest them?

Last week Larenzo and I were to have a naked Skype date, so you can imagine how bummed I was when he fell asleep and it did not happen. It was 3:30 p.m. in Las Vegas and 11:30 p.m. across the Atlantic. Yes, he had to be up for work at 5:30 a.m. the following morning, but he knew this when we’d made plans earlier that day. There’s a saying to the effect of ‘People make time for who they deem important,’ and someone who’s interested does not turn down a naked Skype date.

Had the tables been turned as they so often are, I would have sacrificed 15 minutes of sleep to see Larenzo’s face and even 30 minutes to see his penis. As an interested party, I’ve found myself waking up out of my sleep to respond to messages he’s sent long after midnight. I won’t take too much away from him as he could have very well been tired that night. I just want to emphasize this was a naked Skype date, strong emphasis on naked! It was a visual for crying out loud!

Larenzo isn’t due back in the states for four more months, and getting by solely on SMS chats is rough and pretty boring, considering all the available avenues of technology. Part of me wants to take control, another part of me wants to e-strangle his ass, then there’s the other part of me that wants to let it go before I’m no longer able to keep my feelings at bay. But why should I be trying to control my feelings in the first place? He has told me not to hold back, with the implication that he likes my forwardness. I like my forwardness too, damn it!

In a prior chat, he mentioned how it was obvious that I wanted him that perfect Tuesday we had spent together. I didn’t realize me mind fucking him was so apparent. I was totally oblivious. He reassured me that it‘s nothing to be ashamed about.

Char: "No way! *puts head down in shame* I am so embarrassed that it was that obvious. WOW!

Larenzo: “Don't be embarrassed. In fact, you should be proud.

Char: I'm just sure of what I want. Sometimes a woman who's forward can be intimidating.

Larenzo: I'm not intimidated.

His actions lead me to believe the opposite. I know I don't intimidate him, but me being as blunt as I am, may have caught him off guard. Having to initiate almost all of our conversations, requesting pictures, suggesting Skype dates, it makes me feel as if I’m a savage. Although there are some savage things I want to do to him, being forward is just a part of who I am and I shouldn’t have to second guess that.