scott
"fuck man." i mumbled to myself as i searched around my room for my acid tabs. It's an unhealthy obsession, but it helps me escape.
i normally hit 2 tabs before i go to school, but it seems as if im gonna go sober today. i sighed grabbing my leather jacket and made my way downstairs.
"hey ma." i greeted my mom as she got ready for work.
"hey mescudi, have a good day at school." she smiles, hugging me and left out the door. my mom rarely notices me. she's never home and im pretty much always alone. life sucks for me, there is days when i want to give up. but something keeps pushing me forward.
i sighed grabbing my board, stuffing my phone in my pocket and skated my way to school.
this school shit sucks and i just want to see her. she interests me like no other. she's secluded and keeps to herself, pretty much like me. we connect well.
i sighed making my way to first period, im so glad this is my last year of this bullshit. i made my way to the back as always. i pulled out my earphones and listened to some tame impala to kill time. one of my favorite bands man, their music is awesome.
there is nothing like good music, not the wack ass rap shit these days that only promote violence, sex and pill popping and shit. i only listen to things that inspire, things that make me feel free.
i was so caught up in my music that i didn't even notice first period had already ended, i was pretty much the last one sitting down. fuck.
i got up grabbed my board from the floor, and made my way to the restroom. i went straight to the sink to splash water on my face. i was tired. i hated to look at the person in the mirror who looks back at me. who am i? i dont even know, but all i know is that i feel fucking ugly.
my self confidence is at a zero, but fuck it. i need some fucking drugs, and i need to see her.
rubi
it was lunchtime, my favorite time. the only 30 minutes i can really have to myself at school. Without really being surrounded by anyone or unwantedly bothered. oh yeah,only scott. he's acceptable.
i haven't seen him all day at school, which made me kinda sad because i was looking forward to seeing him. wait, wtf? he's not my boyfriend or anything so why am looking forward to seeing him so much. i don't even know. i don't want to catch feelings or become attached too easily because thats just fucking weird.
i've never really had someone for me before, i never experienced love either. i'm too familiar with the feeling of loneliness, sadness and negative emotions. which isn't good.
"boo!" i hear in my ear, uncomfortably breaking me out of my thoughts. i turned around and it was none other than scott. i immediately got butterflies and became happy with his sudden presence.
"dude, you got to stop scaring me like that." i laughed.
"i would never want to scare you." he smirked as he sat right next to me, the feeling of comfortability and secureness overwhelms me every time im next to him.
"so do you mind if i sit with you at lunch now? i know you kinda like to be by yourself, and read and what not. im sorry," he reaches in his backpack and takes a cig out lighting it "but it'd be fucking cool if we can sit by each other. i like being by you." he smiles, exhaling smoke out of his mouth.
"yeah dude, its no problem." i smiled, dying inside. he likes being by me? wow.
i heard him let out a deep sigh.
