You've Got Voicemail

ii

"'Ello."

"Morgan?"

"The one and only."

"Why are you calling me? Are you still trying to reach that incompetent lab partner of yours?"

"I hunted her down on Facebook and let her have it."

"What did she say?"

"Claims she probably typed it in wrong. I call bullshit."

"Maybe she did, with the screen-"

"Whose fucking side are you on? We're actually friends."

"Um. I still don't know you."

"Yeah you do! My name is Morgan and I'm a senior at Rancho High, remember?"

"I don't remember that last part."

"Well, now you know. So remember it."

"Will do, ma'am."

"Where do you go to school?"

"How do I know you're not a creepy 40 year old man who's going to come to my school and offer me candy?" 

"Do I sound like a creepy 40-year-old man?"

"Well, no-"

"And why would I ever give away my candy? Candy is my life. It is precious and should never be given away, but earned." 

"Okay..." 

"Also, I literally just told you that I am a senior at Rancho High."

"Well, I go to Lincoln High."

"Ew. Gross."

"Hey, you Rancho Knights aren't all that great either! At least we have a cool mascot. We're the lions." 

"La-me. Also, who won the Homecoming game this year? That's right. The Knights. What was the score?"

"7-51." 

"I can't hear you!" 

"Shut the fuck up. You're annoying." 

"Then why are you still talking to me? Hello? Hello? Oh. You hung up."