Words I said
To lift a weight
That's taken a toll
On my heart and mind
Not bad words
No
Just complains
Seeking advice
For what should I say
Words of complains
To a friend who's kind and wise
Words about a best friend
We spent all our days together
Something changed
I was always her shadow
Her follower
Good paints you drew
'Can I see them?'
I touched your things
I thought it was okay
After all we are cousins
And best friends
Instead you yelled no!
Hands off my things!
The way you said it
Like I was dirt
You meant to me so much more
I still loved you though
You meant to me so much more
I still loved you though
At the time I didn't know
That the friend to whom I complained
And emptied my hearts contents
She wanted to help
She talked to you
Looking for an answer
Of why things changed
You came by
I thought things were finally alright
Happy I was
You took my phone
You forgot yours at home
In Facebook you logged in
Showed me a couple of things
Then you left
Next day a message I got
Made my heart drop
I couldn't help myself
Spying is a bad thing
But the words hit me like a truck
I cried and sobbed
You got it wrong
She was your friends
You thought I hated you
And that I disgraced you
And that she believed me over you
But that wasn't the case
But to you it was this way:
You went to your friend
She asked you what do you hate most in the world
Hypocrisy you said
Yeah it's disgusting she sent
You said you had it,
Not the trait you corrected
But a friend who has it
Another text I read
"Do you remember the hypocrite?"
You asked your friend
"Yeah", she replied
"What happened this time?"
"Today I went
To visit a friend a friend
The hypocrite was there
If I've known I wouldn't have gone
She talks behind my back
She's not a human
She makes me sick"
Another one I read
"Today the hypocrite asked"
'What flaws do I have?'
"I wanted to laugh
I wanted to say oh hun, my mouth would go dry"
Can you believe she said 'tell me so I could fix them Maybe I didn't know' these words I said
Talking to my mind *even if you brought the best mechanic he wouldn't be able to fix you.. For you're not even a human*
I couldn't believe my eyes
I cried and cried
Holding back the sobs
To not wake the sleeping souls
I didn't realize
You hated me so bad
That you were sick of me
And of my naïve acts
The words you wrote
Were like swords
Tearing me to shreds
If you hated me so much
Why did you led me on
I thought we were sisters
I loved your everything
We shared so much things
Then my eyes laid on this one
"Her actions are so annoying
She copies me in everything
She holds a grudge against me
And she always assigned all the credit to herself, wearing like me, talking like m...
I couldn't read more
There were so much more
You got it all wrong
I never meant for this
My heart ached
My hands shok
I wanted to die
I'm so sorry I hurt you
Even though I didn't know
I'm sorry I made you hate me
I'm sorry if I made people misunderstand
I'm sorry I talked
I promise I won't talk
I won't complaine
I'm finally tamed
Please forgive me
you know what
You're right
I'm a hypocrite
After all
I talked behind your back
Your words will forever be burned in my head
A hypocrite you addressed me in your texts
And hypocrite I will address myself
____________________________________________
Sorry that was long rant
I couldn't hold it in
I couldn't tell anyone
Not after this
Not anymore
I was planning to only add the things I've been before, I thought things were finally better till I read these texts, the pain was like nothing I've ever felt before, my heart literally broke into million pieces and I needed to get it out before doing something really stupid and reckless.
I think this book will be so sad and depressing for that's what I'm feeling.
Screw love, she was my everything my role model, the one I look up to and admire, the one I wanted to be.
I don't think this pain will ever fade.
From this point on, I'm a hypocrite. I shouldn't have any friends. Not anymore.
~M
