Sunshine and gunpowder

chapter 4

Hey guys!! I'm sorry I haven't been on here in ages I have been very busy with school and church and family and friends I haven't had any time to write lately.

Kensi's pov
It had been a couple days since I had been in the hospital and I was getting so sick of it day after day, confined to the bed but Deeks has been amazing about it, putting up with my constant complaining and being so supportive about the whole thing

I reached over to where deeks was on his phone, "probably checking how many likes his instagram photo of Monty had for the third time that day" and touched his arm "what's up? You need something?" He asks concerned. "Oh no I'm fine don't worry, I just wanted to hear your voice" I smile. "I love you so much" he whispers, leaning in for a short but sweet kiss, but when he pulls away he looked sad, "what's wrong?" I ask. "I'm just so glad I didn't lose you back then" he breathes. "Speaking of losing people um I had the most emotional "dream" about my dad when I was unconscious I think before the paramedics got to the house but I'm not sure. "What happened in the dream?" Deems asks. "I, I was walking, like up in the clouds and I ran toward him, I told him how much I had missed him and how much I wanted to tell him." I swipe away a tear, not wanting to appear weak. "And my dad he told me that he loved me and he couldn't wait to have a long talk about all the things he's missed with me, but that I had to go, that it wasn't my time yet and that I had people here that loved me..." I finally broke down and started crying, at which point deeks came over, and held me in his arms. " that... it got me thinking of how easily people can be taken away, how quickly you can lose someone... and how I was shot is proof of that, deeks, I, I dont know what I would do if I lost you, I don't know how I could go on, what if, what it something happened to you? What if you... died?" I ask. "Baby, I can't promise anything about the future, except this, I will love you until the day I die and every day after, and I can promise you that if anything does happen to me I will fight as hard as I can to come home to you safe, no matter what it takes." Deeks responds. "I, I know" I say, wiping away the tears that had fallen from my eyes during that conversation. "Whenever you're sad about this... About anything, just remember how much I love you" deeks assures.