A Few Things about Love. Blake Griffin Fanfic pt. 2

;;Part 13

“Does he know it?”

                Of course he doesn’t. Unless he just expects it, which may be better than me telling him.

                “Are you going to tell him?”

                No. I can’t tell him. It wouldn’t be fair, I’ve spend more than a year attracted to this man, and he just met me three months ago. He doesn’t even seem like the type who falls easily. Telling him that I love him so soon will just be terrible.

                And I’m too scared to do it.

                “He has to know sometime, Jordan.”

                “I know that, Chelsea, but it won’t be anytime soon.” My voice started to crumble and I paused to gather myself. Was I really about to cry? I didn’t even notice how upsetting this was until I finally said it out loud. “Who even knows,” I said, wiping my eye. “Blake is a goddamn NBA player and I’m still in college, who even knows how long this will last.”

                “Jordan don’t think that way-“

                “But it’s so hard not to!” My voice was trembling now. Tears were falling but I didn’t want Chelsea to see. I ducked my head down and wiped both eyes, trying to hide it but it was no use. Chelsea reached out and before I knew it, I was wrapped up tight in her arms.

                Chelsea didn’t say a word; she just held me and rocked slightly side to side. She didn’t care that I was sobbing into her bare shoulder, wetting it with my tears. I was so upset. Upset and confused from earlier and now I couldn’t stop thinking about what I had said.

                It wouldn’t be fair… I’m too scared… Who even knows how long this will last…  I was starting to rethink and second guess everything, like I have so many times before.

                Just stop thinking, a voice inside me said. Just let it out. Breathe. It’ll all be okay… It didn’t take long for me to notice that it wasn’t my own voice from within, it was Chelsea’s. She was still hugging tight and telling me these things to calm me down. They were actually starting to work.

                “You’re staying here for as long as it takes until you get your head clear,” Chelsea said. She leaned back to look me in the eye. “I don’t want you going back and saying something you didn’t really mean.”

                “Thank you, Chels,” I wiped my eyes again, smearing the mascara that I didn’t even know I still had on.

                 I ended up staying at her house until 8; a little longer than what I planned to be here for. But it was worth it. All those hours here were spent talking about how unbelievable the whole situation is, and how I was still “so lucky to be with him,” as Chelsea said. I had to admit that it was true; I was sure as hell lucky to have even met Blake, but a part of me thought that I didn’t even deserve it.

               “Oh please,” she made the most discouraged face, ever. “If anyone deserves Blake, it should be you. You’re smart, hella sexy, and so much fun to be around.” She said it as if matter-of-factly, and reached for the package of cookies that were already on the table before I got here.

               “Why, thank you,” I said, genuinely accepting the compliment as I forced myself to feel better. I took a few Chips Ahoy! cookies for myself and ate them with a smile.

                After that, our conversation grew lighter and soon we were bringing up old stories from high school. She mentioned the time in our sophomore year when three boys, that had been best friends since like, 4th grade, fought over her, and eventually stopped talking to each other. In the end, she never liked either of them, and she ended up dating a guy a year older. It was the most clichéd teen drama that I have ever experienced in my life, and I wasn’t even a part of it.