Marry Me (An Everlark One-Shot)

Part Two: The Reaction

Again, I was forced to face the question: what are we?

I didn't know what this was. I hadn't known Peeta had felt that way about me – or at least that he had felt that strongly. For the second time in my life, how could I have been so blind to the fact that he was totally and completely in love with me? I didn't know what I felt for him. I didn't even know if I loved him! (And, goodness, I certainly didn't know if I wanted to marry him!).

But I didn't want to tell him any of that; I didn't want to hurt him. I couldn't hurt him after everything we'd been through. And I didn't want him to think his feelings were unrequited – because I didn't think they were. However, on the other hand, I couldn't accept a marriage proposal (of all things) if I wasn't a thousand percent sure that I loved him.

I needed time. I needed a day or two to think this over. But I didn't have that luxury. All the people, who had earlier been indifferent to our presence, had now stopped to witness Peeta's display of his love for me. I could feel their eyes boring into me, urging me to say yes and scorning me if I said no.

Now, I was faced with yet another question: what do I do?

I didn't have a clue what I should say or do. Overwhelmed by my suffocating grief, my eyes burned and I started to cry. I tried to supress it at first, but then I realized that it was an appropriate reaction for someone in my situation. I hoped that everyone had interpreted it as an emotional response to his love for me, and not for what it really was – which was a cry for help.

Taking it to be the earlier, Peeta kept grinning at me like an idiot, but I begged him to see into me – to realize that I was panicking. After my silent tears turned into full-fledged sobs, he got it, and so did everyone else. His features fell, and he rose to his feet to take me in his arms. Some people turned away immediately, and continued on their ways, but others stayed to watch the spectacle unfold. I didn't doubt for a second that the story of Katniss Everdeen breaking down and rejecting a marriage proposal would be whispered all over town. I made a mental note not to leave my house for the next week.

I cried into Peeta's shoulder and he held me tightly. "What's wrong, Kat?" He asked.

"I- I don't know," I sobbed. "I- I'm sorry. I just- I need some time to think."

"Shhh... It's okay." He stroked my hair. "I'll give you as much time as you need."

Really? Would a few years be alright?

He held me a while longer, until my sobbing ceased, and then he let me go with a kiss on the forehead. I hung my head in shame, unable meet his gaze with my puffy eyes. I knew I'd surly find pain there. "I'm sorry," I said to the ground.

"Don't be." He cupped my face in his hand, wiping the stray tears from my cheek with his thumb and forcing me to look at him. "I understand; it's a big decision. And if you're not ready, I'm fine with that."

I nodded tersely, breaking his hold on me. I held his gaze for a moment, deciding if he was being sincere or kind, before coming to my senses. "I- I should go." As I began to dart away, he caught my wrist, pulling me back.

"Wait. I'll give you this." He placed the ring in my free hand.

My heart throbbed as I examined it for the first time on my open palm. It was beautiful. And I in no way deserved something like that; something which he had put so much thought, love, and care into selecting. Whatever I was about to say had caught in my throat, so I nodded again, my eyes flitting to his for a moment. Then I managed a quiet 'thank you', and strode off with my head down; leaving him staring after me. I felt his gaze bore into me from behind, but I was too scared to look back, fearing that his eyes would be filled with sadness and longing that I'd created.