I woke up, Niall was still asleep he had his arm wrapped around me, I removed his arm gently and went to the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror, My body looked disgusting, I looked at my bruises and scars, I looked at my legs, I am so fat. My stomach poked out my legs rubbed together, my bones seemed to be non-existent, How could anyone love someone ever love me maybe no-one does, maybe they're just pretending to love me because they feel sorry for me about my past. Maybe if I make myself skinnier someone will actually love me I grinned at this thought. I turned the shower on and grabbed my toothbrush I lent over the toilet and began the process of making myself sick. I looked at my body again but still wasn't happy maybe I just won't eat today, I nodded to myself flushed the toilet and stepped into the shower.
I heard a knock at the door and Niall's voice 'I need a wee, can I come in?' 'Sure' I shouted without realising what I was saying there was only a glass door to this shower, No curtain but he was already in the room, He's my boyfriend I guess, I turned off the shower wrapped my towel round me and slipped out of the bathroom. I got dressed in polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=84001018 cleaned around my new peircing and sat on the bed waiting for Niall. I noticed a piece of paper on the floor say I picked it up and read 'You're so fat, why are you even alive. Go make yourself throw up bitch Love Dan xx' fresh tears stung my eyes I crumpled up the note up threw it out the window.
I noticed Zayn sitting on the roof of the building smoking so I climbed out and joined him 'Hi Zayn' I said he looked round in shock 'Jesus christ Liv you scared the shit out of me' I laughed and sat down next to him 'Can I have one?' I asked He nodded, handed me a cigarette and lit it for me, we didn't make much conversation just small talk generally, I finished the cigarette and threw the butt of the roof 'Do you want to meet here again later?' Zayn asked 'Sure' I answered 'Well i better get back to Niall, I'll talk to you in a bit' I went to leave but Zayn grabbed my wrist 'Liv you don't want to go back smelling like smoke' He pulled some aftershave out of his backpack and sprayed me thoroughly 'Thanks' I smiled 'No problem Kiddo' He said winking as I walked off and climb back through the window.
Louis was in our room but Eleanor wasn't 'Where's Eleanor Lou?' I asked, Louis shrugged 'She left me' he said, I rushed over to him and hugged him,He hugged my back tightly and started crying 'She's not worth crying over if she left my amazing Lou' I said and broke the hug, he was hiding his smile 'Where's that smile?' I said and started tickling him he had a completely spazzed out on the floor and jumped on top of him and started tickling him more, at that moment Niall walked in 'Umm am I interrupting something' he said looking slightly confused I rolled off of Louis laughing hard 'Eleanor broke up with louis and he wasn't smiling so i started tickling him' I said jumping up off the floor and pulling Louis up,'How about we go and get some breakfast I'm starving' Niall suggested, I smiled weakly and nodded Louis and Niall both rushed to the door but I just stood there hoping they wouldn't notice if I didn't go, Niall turned round and saw me standing there, He grinned deviously and rushed over to me and swooped me over his shoulder and carried me down to the dining room.
'I'd like 2 pieces of toast, 3 pieces of bacon, a tomato ...no make that two tomatoes and umm 2 sausages and scrambled egg please' Niall said to the waitress 'And for the lady' she asked still writing down the order 'I'm fine thank you' I answered 'Your not eating?' Louis asked 'No I'm fine, I'm uh still full from last night' I said rubbing my stomach 'We only had pasta last night, you didn't even finish your plate' he argued 'I'm fine just leave it okay' I snapped standing up from the table 'Where are you going babe?' Niall asked holding on to my wrist, I shook him off 'I'm going to get Lulu' I answered and stood up from the table.
I rushed upstairs and into our room, I grabbed my toothbrush and began to make myself to be sick. Doing this made me feel good. I could feel myself losing weight and I felt happy, I stood up and pulled my jumper up, You could see my stomach was smaller and my ribs were more visible. Perfect i thought I washed my mouth out with mouthwash and walked up to Lulu and Harry's room. I knocked on the door and harry answered, he was naked 'Oh I'm sorry uh' I looked away for harry, I could feel myself blushing 'Don't worry Babe, you've seen me worse than this' He answered winking and pulled me into the room.
