His Broken Heart

Have you ever met a person and in that moment you just connect instantly? Well that is what happened to me and Evan. The first time we ever met was in the third grade at the beginning of school when I accidentally threw my pencil across the room and it hit him in the back of his head. In my defense, I was aiming at my friend who was sitting next to him but I just happen to have horrible aim. After I apologized for my terrible aiming we started to play tag during recess and we just became friends. The days that followed he would sit with me and my friends and tease me about my aim, which was actually not that bad, but day after day we came to find out that we had a lot of things in common. Next thing you know we became best friends.

I love talking to him, we could just talk about anything and everything and never stop. Growing up people always thought we were a couple, but the reality was that we never saw each other in that way. I saw Evan as my brother like if he was my twin and he treated me the same. I know he didn't have any secret feelings for me because he would ask me for help talking to girls he liked. We were open with one another, we told each other everything.

I wish that I could go back to those days where I could just pick up the phone and call him whenever I had a problem and he would tell me that everything would be OK.

Now Evan won't even look at me and ignores me at all cause. Every time I see him I just feel like the worst person in the universe. I made a mistake...a HUGE mistake and I regret it but I can't go back in time to stop me from doing what I did. I will get my friend back....our friendship is worth it more than anything.

At least that's what I thought up until a few minutes ago.

So here I am now.....broken.

It is currently 2:15 in the morning and I am wrapped like a burrito in my bed crying my heart out. I am in pain, not the physical – I just hit my toe with the chair- but emotional pain.

The kind that overwhelms the heart with memories and pure happiness. Making you realize that the feeling of happiness is no longer within your body.

Looking back at all the events that had occurred up until this point I fail to see exactly where it all went so horribly wrong.

Memories keep running in my mind, making me cry even more into my blanket.

Everything we had, him and I, is all gone.

Tears keep rolling down my face- tears of sadness but also of anger......I was furious at the thought of it. I laid there in my bed in disbelief mostly thinking how our friendship turned to shit.

How could he say such horrible things to me after everything we went through!

That is what makes me cry even more. Anger keeps boiling up inside of me as I remember the way he treated me and what he said to me on the phone just a few minutes ago.

"You can die for all I care!"

Who knew that seven words could break a person.

Those seven words repeat over and over again in my head. Although they feel like a stab in the heart they also start a fire in it.

This is not my fault. I begin to think to myself. I did absolutely nothing wrong to him, so why does he hate me so much?

He obviously didn't care much about our friendship since he didn't think twice about telling me to basically die. He humiliated me, he fooled me into thinking that he was different, that he cared, that he would always be there for me.

Where is he now!!?

He was no idea the damage he has caused.

From this day on Hannah Martin will not be fooled by love anymore. Thanks to him I learned that love does not exist. He ruined me. I will never forgive him, the guy that has driven me to never trust a guy ever again.

I look at my phone and see that is it already three in the morning. I sit up and lean back on the headboard and begin to erase all memories of him. I am done crying over him, he is not worth it.

Each picture that I delete makes me cringe at the memory that was captured. There's pictures of us smiling into the camera back when everything was perfect. Before everything went down in flames.

The next thirty minutes are spent deleting pictures, messages, videos and everything that reminds me of him. I will erase every memory we shared together and pretend that I never knew him.

As I am trying to fall asleep I begin to think of the events that brought me to be in this situation.

Where did it all go wrong?