luke | l.h

Bonus Chapter: Wake Me Up When I End

I can't handle this pain anymore.

It was winter on the day that they put my girlfriend on the ground. The world was colourless. The world wasn't a better place without her here. Drenched in tears, I couldn't say goodbye to her. I hope she's happy with that guy wherever she is. I hope she still remembers me and everything we did.

I couldn't accept the fact that when someone dies, you can't bring them back. I really loved Mer; she was the only girl that I fell for in years. She still has me wrapped around her finger. I'm usually the one to wrap girls around my finger but Mer made me feel different. She made me see the world with light. She made me realise that we make the purpose of life. She made me realise that's she gave purpose to my life.

But now she's gone. She travelled to a place with no end neither stop. And I can't help but cry. Cry for my baby girl to come back.

She's the angel from my nightmare of a life. Now I have a nightmare and she's not here to hold my hand and kiss me in the cheeks. My life is just shadows.

I loved it when she kissed me. When we'd made out all night with no regrets. When we'd made love. When we made fun of random people on the tv. When we danced with the refrigerator light downstairs on her kitchen. Now I can only do that with her picture that is lying on bed with me. Mercury I'll never forget you.

                              ☾☾☾

The clock tickled counting off the seconds, hours, weeks, and months of life without Mer.

Endless.

Relentless.

Heartless.

No one deserved this kind of pain. To heal it, I welcomed myself to an isolated mansion. I was rich. She was earning a lot of money too. She had conducted experiments and it made us rich. We were basically like a married couple, we just weren't married yet. I was going to purpose her on the beach.

I have been practicing a song for her with my mates. Ashton, Michael, Jack, and I formed a pop punk band when we were in high school. We still play, but we're not famous. And I don't want to be famous.

I laid in bed thinking if I should do the action she did. Thinking if I should suicide. Yes. I'm going to jump of a cliff and prove that it's no myth. I'm going to meet Mercury. Then she'll love me again and she'll become Mercury Hood. Perhaps I may not meet her, but you never know without trying.

Deep. Rocky. Edgy. Long. I have finally arrived to where my life would end.

Shadows loomed here. Who knows where I would go? Maybe I won't find Mercury. Maybe after we die there is no heaven neither hell. Maybe you sleep forever and you'll be stuck with a dream for infinity. Maybe a bad dream. Nightmare.

I stepped to the edge and thought of my life. Prosperous but with no source of happiness. Mercury. I thought. She fueled me. The thought of Mer fueled me and kept me alive. But no Mer is here. So I have to die too.

I stretched my arms sidewards. This was going to be my position. I moved forward. Grains of rock and sand fell to the deep blue.

"Mercury Atterson I'm coming for you." I fell.

Light was all I saw. I screamed while falling. They say when you die, all your life moments flashes into your eyes. Why didn't it flash? Am I alive?

I feel dead.