Tender Kisses and Gentle Hearts

chapter 1- Habits

"You have so many layers, that you can peel away a few, and everyone's so shocked or impressed that you're baring your soul, while to you it's nothing because you know you've twenty more layers to go."

- Craig Thompson, Carnet de Voyage

Chapter 1- Habits

I give Luca his coffee and mumble a 'sorry' as I stand up and walk out. It has been such a long time since I have last seen him. He looks more mature now. He doesn't look like the Luca I knew, but you can see it in his eyes and in the way he speaks with so much arrogance that although he has changed, there is still a glimpse of the old Luca hidding there. That's how I knew it was him. By his eyes. Those eyes that once held so much love, now looked at me with blankness and a little bit of amusment. guess time does change people. For better or worse. I walk to my car quickly, hoping he won't catch up with me. Just as I am about to open the driver's door, though, a hand grabs my wrist to stop me from doing so. I look up to see a pair of green orbs staring down at me with amusement.

"Hey, don't run away from me, princess." He says with a laugh. "Look, I just want to see how you've been doing, it has been a while since we last talked."

Just for a moment I see a glimpse of an emotion behind his smile, hurt perhaps? "I'd like to catch up, Luca but I have got to get to my dorm." I tug at my wrist and he lets go. "Maybe some other time."

He looks away. "Yeah, maybe. But you should still have my number just in case, you know."

I raise an eyebrow. "Look Luca, I am not looking for any relationship right now..."

He laughs. "Oh no, nothing like that." He starts to say and I just stand there looking at him in confusion. "I have a girlfriend, Amelia, I was just asking you to hang out as friends." He makes an emphasis on the last part.

My heart hurts when he says he has a girlfriend, but I remember how things aren't the same anymore so I just nod. "Um sure. Here, write your number and I'll text you, sometime."

He shakes his head and gives me his phone. "No. I don't trust you with calling me back, so here, write your number in mine."

I scoff but do so anyways. "Well, I have got to go. It was erm nice meeting you again Luca." I say not looking at him.

He looks down and nods his head. "Yeah, same. Adios."

He turns around and leaves. I sigh and open the door to get into the driver's side just when I notice another post it, but this time it is stuck on the mirror. I pick it up and read it.

Wanna play a game? Let's call it hide and seek. I hide you seek.

- P.

I crumple the paper up and throw it as far away as it can go. I get into the car and drive away.

I unlock the door to my dorm and step inside. The dorm rooms were really spacious and the beds were fairly comfy. I had my side of the room and Jessie, my roommate, had another. We both loved the minimalistic style, so our dorm was all in that style.

I dropped my backpack on the foot of my bed and I threw myself on the bed. I shut my eyes and wished everything would disappear. Nothing was going my way. It never had. And lots of times it was my fault. Like how it was my fault that I broke the heart of the guy I had loved more than myself, and like how I had basically killed my sister. If it wasn't for me helping Adam cheat on her then maybe she would still be here. Maybe she'd be sharing the same dorm as me. Maybe we'd have an argument about which style the room should be in.

A tear dripped down my cheek as I thought about all of this. It was inevitable; these feelings, thoughts. They were all inevitable. There were times I would hear Victoria's laugh as I tripped down the stairs. There were times I would see Parker in the school's library, looking like the Parker I thought I knew. And there were also many times that I would see Luca's mop of black hair strolling down the hallways. I would also see his eyes, oh his eyes, how I loved getting lost in them, so much so that I ended up losing not only myself but also the person I loved as well.

These feelings were all tiring, so it wasn't much of a surprise when I drifted into a deep slumber with wet cheeks and puffy eyes.

"Well, we are back where we started." Luca stated.

We were now by the ocean, the water as calm as can be. The big ball of fire was glimmering down on us. Washing us up with its light.

I looked over at Luca.

He looked so real. It was hard to think that he wasn't really there.

"What do you mean?" I ask, tilting my head.

He turns to look at me, mirroring my movement. "You're falling in love with me all over again." He laughs softly. "The sad thing is, I'm already taken."

I look away. "I am not falling in love again. It's too risky." I run my fingers through my hair and sigh.

"You know you do that a lot when you're lying, stressed, or sad." He says gravely. "And before you ask what I am referring to, it's to you running your fingers through your hair and sighing."

I laugh bitterly. "Old habits are hard to quit."

Luca looks at me sadly. "Yet you quit me so easily."