Life of The Ninja Cat

Motionless in White

OK, so it's Monday, and it's Motionless in White day. It's nearly 1pm and I've just been to the venue to try and pick up my meet and greet tickets and they were like 'There's no tickets, come back at 6:45' but the show starts at 7:30, and surely they need time to get ready, so how much time are we gonna get? O.o I dunno... maybe I just have a tendency to panic about things. Well actually I do have a tendency to panic about many things, sort of part of the plethora of different anxiety disorders I have, but whatever.

The important thing about my trip to the venue is that there was a giant black bus outside and while I was waiting for the dude to get back to me about the meet and greet, Ash and Nikki got off. And I have no clue what to do in this situation, because I don't wanna be a crazy fangirl, and they've clearly not been awake long, so I just smile and hope I don't look dumb. But then they can't get into the building, like there's three doors and they're tiredly trying to decide which one is the right one. Then some other girls point them towards the door I'm standing by because they've seen me manage to summon a person from it and they come over, and just stare blankly at this door that doesn't have a handle. So I try to point out the buzzer to Nikki and he seems confused as hell. Luckily Ash is vaguely more awake and manages to follow my pointing finger, press the buzzer, and ask to be let in. But she sounded so sick! I just wanted to wrap her up in a blanket and give her some hot chocolate. I have no idea how she's going to sing tonight, but I'm sure she will.

So anyway, they get let in, the dude tells me to come back later, and it's cold so I peace out, buy some pasta from Tesco and head back to the hotel. I've decided I'm gonna sit here till about 4, by which time I'll be crapping myself with nervousness, then head back out to the venue where there will hopefully be some people to hang with. Talking to new people scares me, but the concept of hanging round on my own any longer than that scares me worse. It's the lesser of the evils. Plus if I meet anyone that's actually doing the meet and greet, I'll have someone to stand with me when my brain threatens to freak the hell out. Anxiety disorders are weird things, I'll write a chapter on mine at some point.

Not sure what else to say here really, but I want to keep writing because I've only managed to waste half an hour and I really need the distraction. You might think I'm mad for getting the meet and greet when it's making me this nervous but the thing with any disability, mental or physical, is to try not to let it dictate your life. So yes I will probably be a nervous wreck, but I would hate myself if I let myself miss the opportunity to meet my favourite band. If shit goes real cray, I can always just straight up tell them I'm having a panic attack.

I'm starting to realise I'm not going to manage to write for the next 2 hours, let alone force you poor buggers to read it all. Plus I need to actually upload this shit, both yesterdays and todays, as I only get 30 mins of free internet here. Seriously, even hostels in this country generally have free wifi but here I have to pay and breakfast costs £7. Stuff you Travelodge, I ate Doritos in my bed and used like an hours worth of your hot water!

Anyway, as I was trying to say, I shall leave you guys here, and go use my 30 mins of internet.

Goodbye lovelies

Peace <3