double reflection (#Wattys2016)

returned

EDITED 2.15.16:

Mom just hugged me. 

After all I told her, I thought she would yell at me for blowing up everything, but no. She just sat there, nodded her head and hugged me. It was a strange experience. With her working almost 24/7 now, we never had moments like these. It was nice but it also felt I was in a stranger's embrace, from a person that I known all my life.

It was funny really. This time I really was at ends. 

Why couldn't Luc be like the others? It would've been easy to avoid him and then have him out of my life forever. No strings attached is what I'd say. Because people can yank the strings out and it'll leave you in pain. 

And why couldn't I protect myself from him? I did it multiple times with the guys the girls made me date. I could've done it, I could've. But I didn't, and that is in my own hands. 

And I can feel it. Your stares through this very page. Your dissapointed, your angry, your annoyed. Your telling me to just be with the freaking guy and all of this torment would be over. At that point, your friends and your enemies won't even matter, and you'll be happy. Happily ever after.

But this isn't fairytales that your father told you to go to bed. This was the cold and harsh reality, where it crushes any bit of happiness so you get to know darkness more. Happy endings are for Princes and Princessess. But my ending? I'm gonna pay for my happiness. 

Like father like daughter. Dad paid for my mom's and my happiness. And it took his life. 

"You father would'nt be proud the way you've been acting," my mom murmurred in my ear, stroking my hair, "But he would've been dissapointed if you didn't."

My face was heated from the tears I've been holding onto for about 3 years approximately. I cried for noone since that day, and now I cried for everybody.

"Arie, honey. I'm not upset at you, I never was," mom told me, "I knew that one day dad's friends would find us. We can't hide forever."

I sniffled, "We can try."

Mom gave me a sad smile, "We can fail."

I frowned, "We could move again."

Mom shook her head, and kissed my cheek, "We can't. You have unfinished business here."

"I can leave that if we move. Away, and start again," I plead, my mind conflicted with my heart. Was it safety or was it emotion, that would win?

Mom shook her head again, "You finally have a boy you adore. And he's made you happy. And that makes me, your mom very happy." She kissed my forehead.

I sat up, "But that doesn't matter. Happiness goes away."

Mom takes my hand in hers, "So it seems. But happiness is here now, and it is not gone. So for the time being, you are happy."

I sighed, pulling away, my mind focusing on a new plan of action, "We need to do something, I need to fix this."

"And you will, but not in the span of tonight," mom stated, "Tomorrow."

I palmed my forehead, my head hurting, "I have to confront the girls tomorrow. And if I don't go they're send out a party. And then they'll share where weve been hiding for the past two years. And then well be caught and-"

Mom grabbed my shoulder, and eyed me, "Breathe....that's it. Breathe slowly."

I took big gulps of oxygen and released it forcefully. 

"Honey, you will not go to school, not if I have a say in it," Mom announced, and my eyes widened.

"B-but mom," I sputtered out.