double reflection (#Wattys2016)

different

EDITED 1.11.16:

I see lights, glowing little lanterns decorating the tape of my mind. Then white, so white, so clean. And then a beep, and a another beep, and my eyes recalled how to open. And then I was in a hospital. The cleanest I've seen yet. I was the only patient yet it seemed so full with the equipment and furniture. And there was a boy. I blinked, groaning slightly as my head throbbed with numb pain.

The pain subsided as I saw his eyes. Gray like lightning steel.

"L-Lucian?" I choked out, my voice dry as sand paper. He nodded, hurrying to my side. He placed a glass of water straight in my hand, murmuring for me to drink it all.

I accepted it, as his eyes scanned me, as if he was actually concerned.

"Why you here?" I murmured, his eyes snapped to mine.

"I saved you. You were on the field, and I was coming from the locker rooms," Lucian's stormy eyes darkened to a silver. "Who did it?"

I blinked, "No one."

"God Dammit, I'm trying to help you," he whispered sharply, "Why won't you let me help you, Rose?"

I shut my eyes, "Don't call me that. Not outside, not here."

"Why not?" he questioned, I opened my eyes.

"Rose is the name my dad gave me, but since he's gone I despise that name. It reminds me of every single piece of him, and it hurts," I tell him, proud that I didn't stutter but extremely scared that it'll make me too vulnerable. I never could let myself be too weak.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, grazing my ear as he placed the cup back on the table.

I suck in a deep breath, realizing what I had just done. But it was finished. "Just call me Rosemarie, or a shorter name but never ever Rose, out here," I tell him with passion.

"You say as if this outside is different from being inside," he tells me, quirking a smile. I refuse to give him one back. He already knew way to much. But that mind nagging, kept reminding me that I had pre developed feelings for this boy. And as usual I listened to my head.

"So." I say shifting myself in a sitting position, "Why'd you stay?"

He frowned, "You mean here, in the hospital?" I nodded.

He shrugged, giving me a boyish grin. "I wanted to."

I quirked my head to side. Well that was.... different.

He laughs, "Why you looking at me like that?" I shrug.

"I want to." And he chuckles, a deeply masculine sound that somehow made him a bit more appealing. A bit.

I shake my head slightly, as if a gentle shove would lead me back to sanity. "So have you heard about our new status, or at least your status? Mine's the same, as per usual."

His laughing face suddenly turns grim, and a bit anger flickering. "Yea I did. And I don't like how the girls are looking at me now, or how the guys are congratulating me on something that doesn't seem like an accomplishment. And I know you didn't do it, you know spread it, and-"

"How'd you know it wasn't me? I'm the sluttiest girl on campus apparently, and I can do bad things that are just as low as that," I tell him, trying to keep my façade going. I was trouble, I would hurt him. And he'll hurt me. We weren't compatible in reality.

He smiles, a slow grin, "But that's the thing, your not what the rumors say. Not the girl everyone says you are. Your different, a good kind. And it's a bit refreshing."

I gape at him, "Are you high right now? Because that is not your line."

His face turns cold, "So you think I'm one of those guys, who plays for score?"

I shake my head, "That was what I expected," I tilted my head, "But you were certainly the opposite." I blink, cursing that this moment between us was full of truth.

I needed to get my priorities straight, pronto.

I was the bad girl, he is my forced boyfriend.

That was it. No emotions evolved are permitted to enter.

I sighed, feeling a sense of confident returning.

He stared at me curiously, and I forced myself not to check my face.

"How long have I've been here?" I ask.

"About6 and a half hours about, why?"

"I need to go home, right now. I have so much stuff to do," I tell him, lying with a convincing smile. He nodded uncertain but willing.

"I'll let them know. Stay put until I come back," he told me, and I nodded like the bobble head I was. When I saw him close the door behind him, I got up, slowly but then with urgency. I needed to get out, and return to my awful reality.

I stood and carefully placed on my jacket and other belongings, then I steadily went to the door. The hall was clear, thank goodness, now I was able to sneak pass the front desk, since the lady was dealing with a group of loud and urgent visitors.

I mentally patted myself as I made it through the front doors, my bandages loosening but otherwise stable and still there. I made it one step, before a car pulled up. And fear paralyzed me as the dark tinted windows brought back so many rushing memories.

A car was just pulling up to our old home and five men came out, Dad came out  from the house first. The men greeted him with polite smiles, and Mom wanted them to come in. Mom insisted but Dad wanted to stay outside. They dealt their business outside, and they left. But Mom was busy, and she didn't see what I saw.

A glimpse of a angular black weapon, pointing at the back of Dad. His face pleading almost desperate, and the men bantered raising their voices. But nobody came to see what was happening, they were out, the street was deserted. But I, I saw everything. I bystanded everything, and that day, they let Dad go, off with a final warning. Then Mom came back and whisked my Dad  into helping her, while the men said their goodbyes, their voices holding a stable threat. That car came back the last time, and today it's the car that carried murderers.

"Arie? Arie?! Rosemarie?!!!" a voice yelled in my face, I blinked rapidly to adjust to my surroundings. I glanced at Lucian in front of me, he was no murderer. He was Lucian. I let out a small sigh.

A hand touched my shoulder, I jumped and on instinct moved away. Lucian looked sad in a way but replaced that with irritation, "I told you to say put. And what do you do? You put a do not in front of stay put."

I looked down, his words reminding me of a scolding I would get from Dad. "I'm sorry," I say lowly. I hear him sigh, as he lifted my head up.

"Hey, don't be. I should've expected that, for you to ditch me," and I think I see a glimpse of something more than sadness pass his eyes. But he replaced it with seriousness, as he ushered me into the car. I was gently put on the seat, while Lucian closed the door and returned to the driver seat. We were side by side now.

I gave him directions close by to my home, and he didn't ask. When it was my stop, I prepared to get out but he pulled me back and did something so unexpected, and so human. He hugged me, a gentle caress that made me feel warm and cared for. And I hesitantly made my arms across his back, as I gave him a light squeeze back. When we both pulled, we were both breathless from some harsh activity that was unknown.

"Bye," I tell him, as the familiar feeling of the cold encased me back in its chains. He didn't return the farewell as he kept staring at me, and then I ducked away and ran into the night.

I made it home with a working mom still at the firm, and I slumped against the door, thinking, What the hell just happened?

(Immensely intense. Be prepared for the journey. -A)