One thing I couldn't process is he stormed out of the room pissed off at me and now he wants me to stay with him tonight?
"No Harry." I can't get sucked into any more of this bullshit anymore. I left home to get away from this, but I guess it just likes to follow me around.
The minute I got out of Harry's hold he took me by the waist and pushed me up against the wall. His other hand traveled up and down my back making me freeze. This feels just like the way it did before except my high pitch screams didn't come out.
"Stay," Harry said once more while tightening his grip on my waist. His plan by applying pressure on my body is foolish, cause the truth is I've grown to the feeling of pain and misery. I kept a straight face and tried to take his arm off but he didn't budge. He was strong, too strong for me.
"If I say yes will you let me go," I said sternly. He nodded in return. "Then yes." Another reason why I said yes was because Harry brought me here with no other way to get home.
I awkwardly shifted my feet not knowing what to do. Why can't I just have stayed home and watch t.v.. Oh right because Harry would have dragged me either way.
He just kept on starring me at me with his pink lips pursed together with his eyebrows furrowed. If he wasn't going to say anything then there was no point in just standing here.
I walked down the hall into what I assume is the living room taking another red cup from some random girl who was about to yell at me until I sent her daggers. Her face now held her timid self tripping over her feet and walking behind me into the kitchen.
I had that sense of power again. The feeling of people being scarred of me gave me pleasure in who I truly am and the certain way I act. Now the real Janni is in gear ever since that little action happened. With that I drank my cup halfway letting it sink into my body praying it will get me wasted.
The amount of alcohol I consume without getting drunk surprises me though. It hasn’t done anything to my system, which made me grow angrier by the second.
I remember having my first beer when I was fourteen. Some people may think it might have been hard for a fourteen year old to contain alcohol, but it was easy access in my home. It tasted horrible but during that time I needed something to distract me from the outside world and the destruction that was taken place in my living room at night. I would never get a full nights rest because of all the noise. I remember how all three of my brothers use to come into my room with cuts on their hands and spots of blood, stained on their clothes. They all tried to divert me from the loud shatter of glass against the walls by playing a game of slide or talking about our bright future where we would be together no matter what.
“What a bright future. We don’t even talk anymore.” I thought while taking a seat on the porch.
Me being the youngest of the four meant I had three people who were very over protective of me and whenever I needed any back up they would be the first people I would call. Now I don’t know who I can call to be honest. I would call my best friends but I wouldn’t want to bother them since they have all the stress because of school.
“How old are you,” I jumped slightly, but recovered quickly knowing exactly who it was.
“17.” I simply answered.
“Shouldn’t you be in school missy,” Harry mocked while taking both of his index fingers and brushed them in front of me,”Tssk tssk tssk.”
“Dropped out.” School just wasn’t for me and I didn’t need a stupid diploma to get me somewhere in life. Plus I didn’t do well anyways so what’s the point. I was going to achieve my goal by myself and it would be even greater having it done all on my own.
"Ahh so we have a slacker here."
"At school yes, but I just didn't want to spend most of my life in a hell hole where I don't understand anything at all."
"Don't worry. I did the same. Dropped out in tenth grade. I don't need a diploma for people to see. Plus I achieved absolutely nothing in school,'Harry calmly said while taking a sip out of his drink. It was nice to have someone that thinks like myself.
"I dropped out in ninth grade. I have something else I want to do though."
"Whats that?"
"Play professional soccer. It's always been a life goal of mine."
"It's amazing how much we have common you know," He turned and smiled at me. Right now I wasn't thinking of Harry Styles the womanizer or how bad he may seem. I have to be honest and say that weirdly enough we did have a few things in common. Maybe he's different than what I thought.
Never let your guard down Janni. For all I know he could be a rapist trying to get on my good side.
This is what I just hate about myself. I can never trust anyone anymore all because of the past. The feeling just made me sick thinking about it. The thing is when ever I looked into his green eyes it felt like he was trying to pry himself into the place where I kept all my secrets hidden. I've built the walls very high through these past years and I'm not going to let some boy I just met a few days ago knock them down. One thing i am sure of is that I shouldn't judge him at all, knowing my past he probably had more of a normal life than I ever did.
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