Here we are my friends the first chapter. Starting off with the cringest thing you could do; self instert.
Okay we have all done this atleast once but do we really have to? No, is my answer. Okay maybe one or two fics are good with a self insert but they are not really visable, the insert is more of a background character.
My friend and I discussed one or two fics by this one writer where she self insert herself as a sister or best friend of the main character. Which is a NO NO. I find it so cringy and I don't know why, it's like a big unwanted bug that you have to squash.
As I said before you can insert yourself but don't make it so blaintent or in your face, make the introduction sutble or make yourself an aquentients to the main character. It's not completely rocket science, its simple as 1 2 3.
Or instead of an insert, make a good character which is SLIGHTLY based of yourself and beware children, beware of the mary/gary sues.
These are a few suggestions that can slightly improve your work.
Hope it helped
Doc
