Teen Tales.

I can't and I shouldn't.

*his point of view*

There I see her again. Well, I'm supposed to pretend I did not see her and in case there is an eye contact, god bless me because I cannot handle those eyes. But I like having her around. She's fun. Well, she's more crazy around me which makes me like her stupidity and mine together.You know she believes I hate her and I don't talk about her but she's always on my mind. Do I love her? No, but the idea does brings a smile on my face .

I've been feeding lies to her through her friend and being rude was just a way to make them feel it's the truth. My heart ached every time I think about how much I hurt her. She tries to act like she doesn't cares. But I know that look on her face. What is holding me back if I really do like her? I asked my friend. He says it's dumb for me to think about my ex girlfriend. So do I. But she's the only thing that comes up to my mind when i think about having a relationship. As if I am looking for her in every girl I know. But I guess I am. Someone said it's my ego. It's such a corruptible word I think to myself. But yes, I did break up with her for my own selfish needs. I changed my priorities and looked for fun rather than affection. I am still possessive about her. And the fact that she cries for me every day but will never cry in front of me stings. She's so strong. Clichéd but yes she is and I did not expect her to be so open minded because only I know how emotional she is. She's numb. Her eyes read it out loud. She's so sick of it. And she secretly wants me back but the question is do I?

She makes me wanna go wild and feel alive, I don't know how but she makes me feel like myself or it's like she knows my soul and understands my passion more than I do myself. And this feeling makes me want to endlessly explore her. People tell me she's doing good and she moved on. Got a new boyfriend specifically. I know it's hard for her to get over me so she's looking for love somewhere else. I am happy and sad at the same time. Jealousy rushes into my heart and makes me wanna beat up anyone up for touching her or even thinking about her. But I can't and shouldn't. She isn't mine. She's happy and I'm happy without her and still not. She loved me so bad that I never wanted to let her go. Her love is so addictive while my heart tells me it's still alive but I'm just lacking the confidence to gut up and tell her that I feel the same.

The connection , the feels and everything. Those chats about what shoes I should buy and ranting about how much we love justice league and singing parodies together. The hugs, snuggles and kisses in rain. Coincidentally wearing the same outfits all the time. The phone calls which ends with a same to you when you're around your family but that was our sweet always. And now that I hear the rumors are that the guy used her and broke her totally. Oh I wished I could just hug her , wipe away those tears and eat oreos with her till the end of the day and just make her laugh. But I can't and I shouldn't. Her kisses, her hands, her waist, her tomboyish style, I do miss it. But I just curse that she's a slut when we cross paths.

But at the end of the day missing her is a thing that I can't do and shouldn't...